Some Aid
by Scottea
Summary: Senior ranking officers sometimes do not know what those under their command do and can do. The first two chapters are a bit graphic but then this concentrates on the twists and turns of command and friendships.
1. Chapter 1

"Welcome back, gentlemen." the man at the tavern was obviously pleased to see them again although Captain James T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise was not pleased to be back. In his gut he knew that this man and Commodore Wayne Tillis' aide, Officer Brent Cullen, were behind Spock going missing the last time they were on this planet. He had no proof but something just did not feel right about the man, men. It was like they had dealt with each other before they met.

"There still have been no reports of your former First Officer, Kirk. I personally thoroughly inspected all the male non-human slaves and none was your officer." there was a look of pleasure on the man's face and Kirk felt sick knowing what he would have meant. "Most of the slave owners I talked with said that Vulcans did not last long as pleasure slaves and were not much use for anything else. There was one male that has been here about three standard years and eight older male Vulcan slaves but they were hardly worth inspecting as they had lost all their will and just submitted to my inspection."

"We are no longer looking for him, we know he is either a part of your society by now or is dead. We left a crew member here to recover after an accident and we need a few items we know you can help us with." Cullen held out a list.

"Go into the bar, I will add anything you drink, or enjoy, to your account. You will find some new attractions."

At the door to the bar Kirk stopped. Three weeks ago he had gone in there while looking for Spock and been repulsed by what they called entertainment. Even this time as they had walked to the tavern he had seen slaves being made to copulate for their masters, other slaves being used by their masters as sex toys. In the bar, on the stage, they were. No, Kirk momentarily closed his eyes. The thought of his friend being treated like that frightened and sickened Kirk. He looked at the Commodore and Cullen looking in the bar and saw how Cullen was smiling while Tillis had the expression of one who had encountered places like this with almost monotonous regularity and was still sickened by it yet knew his role as a representative of the Federation was to accept it.

"I'll go get Officer Winstsone." Kirk was pleased to go to the other area of the city. There were slaves there as well but they were not as openly used and abused as those in and around the tavern. Not naked nor decorated to accentuate their atributes. As he approached the inn the officer was in he felt frustration almost beyond control build up in him. For three weeks he **had felt** **Spock was alive** , hurt and deeply confused but alive, and **now nothing**. Nothing for the past two days. The last time he had felt Spock's mind there had been confusion, an uncertainty about what somebody was doing to him, then there was nothingness. Nothingness and yet Kirk knew he would know if Spock were dead, he just knew he would know that

There was that empty booth in the small café in the hotel Winstsone was at and Kirk ordered one of the rare beers as he waited for Winstone to arrive as had been arranged.. Just three weeks ago he had been in this café, sitting in this booth with Spock and Bones after McCoy had seen to the officer's accommodation and given him strict instructions to rest. They had been discussing having Commodore Tilis and aide aboard and Spock had questioned why there was an aide as there was, to his reasoning, no logical need for the aide and it was highly unlikely the aide would ever captain or even serve on any sort of ship. McCoy had said that he felt the man was looking out for himself and his later years.

"I noted that while the Commodore managed to hide his disapproval of what is done to others Officer Cullen is greatly fascinated by the amount and the forms of gross mistreatment of another sentient species that is allowed in this society. I am sure had we, and in particular Commodore Tillis, not been present he would have been actively taking part in some of the activities. I found it most unsettling."

They had talked on till they were due for beam up and Spock had left to get the Commodore and his aide while Kirk and McCoy had gone to wait at the designated spot for their beam-up. Shortly after he had left Kirk was sure he had sensed Spock was in danger but it passed quickly so he thought it was nothing. It sent a chill down his spine but knew he could not go charging around on a mere feeling.

"You okay there, Jim?" McCoy had noticed how for a moment Kirk had closed his eyes and slightly shook his head, "I know that their beer tastes more of hops than we are used to be it is not that bad."

"It's nothing, Bones. Just a weird feeling that this place is giving me is all." They waited at the beam up site but none of the three turned up. Since it was a hands-off planet Kirk knew they could not get permission for a full search team so he and McCoy went back to the tavern and found the Tillis and Cullen being helped up form the ground by some locals, both in very dishevelled states with Cullen saying they were ambushed by about nine or more and how he tried to protect the Commodore. Spock was nowhere around but there was a small pool of green blood and clear signs of a major fight. They looked around and quickly discovered that thee were no witnesses, or none wanting to talk.

In Sickbay before he went in to see the two McCoy had stopped him, "Indications are that Tillis was knocked unconscious by at least one blow to the head and Cullen has what I would call minor injuries that produce the illusion of great trauma. If I were to bet on this I would say it would have been Tillis protecting Cullen. Neither remembers what happened to Spock."

Tillis sat across the table from him and looked into a cup of coffee for a moment before looking directly at him and Kirk saw the truth as he said, "Mister Spock came and got us and we left. We were walking to the meeting point when ten to a dozen citizens attacked us. All males and they were too strong. We tried to fight but it was like they were prepared. I do not know what happened to Mister Spock let alone to Cullen."

When he had asked Cullen the man had looked at him, "Commodore Tillis and I were in watching the show when Mister Spock came in and said it was time to return to the Enterprise. Him going into such a place focused a lot of attention on him and many there commented. The three of us left the tavern and got about fifty paces from it when we were attacked by about a dozen men clearly after Mister Spock but at the time all I could think of was protecting the Commodore. There were too many of them. The Commodore was knocked unconscious, I was badly badly stunned, and remember seeing about six men tackle Mister Spock, I do not know what happened to him. I was still confused when you and Doctor McCoy arrived."

Nothing seemed right. For three weeks nothing had felt right. The Commodore was battered and bruised and McCoy said there was some concussion but something was wrong.

They were ordered back to the ship and the Cullen went back down and stayed down for two days saying he was searching for Spock and personally delivering what the Commodore waned delivered. For a moment Kirk had thought it odd but he did know of Tillis's insistence of prompt delivery of whatever he said would be delivered.

A well-dressed woman walked in with a Vulcan male about Spock's age on a leash. Although it was obvious through the near transparent garb slaves had to wear in the cafes the man was lean and muscular, the eyes were dead and clearly his spirit was totally broken. The woman walked over to the booth and asked him if he would like services of her slave while she had lunch in a restaurant that did not allow slaves and she was worried as if she left him tied up outside too many might enjoy him and he would be too tired to be of use to her later.

"No." Kirk had tried to be polite but the thought sickened him.

"But just look at and feel his manhood," she quickly grabbed Kirk's hand and put it on the loincloth covering the slave's penis, "it might look like nothing now but he arouses easily."

"No." Kirk pulled his hand away.

"But **everybody** finds Vulcans, when they are fresh, the best ones to have. They are no good after about four standard years for much other than toilers." Her voice was raised and a few people were looking and nodding in agreement. "This one is still of use, still gives pleasure, but in about another year he will be no good at pleasing me, or anybody else for that matter but should make a good worker. He could please you while I am gone."

"I said no."

"You are an off-worlder. Odd as many if not most off-worlders, both male and female, are the ones who enjoy them the most. It is said that the one that came in fresh three weeks ago is pleasing all who are enjoying it. It was paraded around which beautifully showed us it magnificent lines and assets and we believed we may enjoy him, perhaps even breed from him as he looked like good stock, you could see the fight was still in him, but it is said that he went back off-world with one of the government officials and his off-world friend for their entertainment. It would have been a real money maker for the owner as it clearly was a strong and alert slave."

"What," Kirk fought to control all the emotions he felt welling up inside him as, when she mentioned three weeks, he realized it was most likely Spock, "what did this off-worlder look like?"

"A tall human, solid, rather like a block, lots of brown hair, and he knew how to control and show slaves. Not many off-worlders know how to control and to show slaves that well. That Vulcan had spirit in him but his master was controlling it like a true handler: perfectly. Its master knew how to show not only its spirit but also how to control it while others admired its assets and the reaction it had to touch. Most of us are awaiting its return and only hope it still has that same spirit." A slight frown touched her lips, "With the new law change coming in four years where owning one will be illegal everybody I know wants it as it will, no doubt, be the last Vulcan. This one was one," she gave the leash a tug,"of the last lot to be brought in. No papers means he cannot as all people native to Achimera must have papers to leave and all visitors are known and approved by government officials before they arrive and told of our ways."

Kirk gripped the coffee mug. Three weeks ago. Spock.

"Oh, here's someone who will watch and maybe enjoy him while I go eat. He was here when that other Vulcan was here and seemed to watch him intently."

Kirk saw his officer walk slowly up to the booth, saw him act as though nothing was out of the ordinary when he said he would watch her slave while she ate. As he looked at the man Kirk realized that under the immediate look of a relaxed officer it was clear he had not been resting. To others how he walked possibly seemed very natural and reflected confidence but Kirk saw the telltale signs in his movements that revealed a deep tiredness. A deep tiredness that clearly showed he had not been following medical orders and the stiffness in his movements indicated he was still in pain,

Once the woman was gone Winstone ordered a meal and had totally ignored him and the Vulcan who now sat crouched on the floor beside him. Winstone finally looked at him as it was clear he was aware of how Kirk had been studying him and smiled, "Had a few falls. Too much drinking but I was off the ship, Sir."

Control! Control! Kept screaming in his ears as he watched the officer start to cut the salad. The officer looked sideways at the Vulcan, "If you could end it, would you?"

For a moment the Vulcan just sat stock still then slightly lifted his head, "It would be fast. I could yet live eighty-two point six three years like this. They do not believe in killing slaves which would be more merciful than this life."

Kirk saw the officer nod. "If I give you some raw taktak seeds,"

"Please, oh please, they are painless and it would be over in two point three hours at the most. Please."

For a moment Winstone looked at Kirk, then poured some seeds he had in a small bag onto a piece of salad and, once the Vulcan had nodded, put it in the Vulcan's open mouth as one would a pet. There was almost a look of contentment, of a dream realized, on the Vulcan's face as he ate the seeds. "Thank you." almost furtively the Vulcan gripped Winstone's hand and quickly released it, "You, you are in such extreme deep physical pain."

"It is nothing."

The Vulcan gripped his hand again and looked up at him with such a look of pure gratefulness Kirk almost had to look away, "I have been here three point five eight years and this is the first kindness I have experienced. May you find what you look for in life. If I had the ability to I would take your pain." He released Winstone's hand and looked briefly but steadily at Kirk, "You are Human as well, do not blame him for his actions. Death is preferred. Take care of him. He is in great pain but hiding it from you as," the Vulcan closed his eyes for a moment then looked from Winstone to Kirk in a sort of dawning understanding, "his pain is to do with you, you or something important to you. The deep and extreme pain in him is because of it. He cares so much about others he is hiding so much pain from you and them. He is a most humane Human. Care for him."

The woman came back and patted the Vulcan on the head, "I hope he behaved."

"He did."

"You," the woman looked at Winstone, "saw that other Vulcan slave, the new one about three weeks ago. The one that still had so much inner spirit. You saw him. I saw you watching him, you were almost studying him. Such fine lines. Wasn't he magnificent?"

"Yes."

"Well, we won't keep you from your meal. Come."

As the Vulcan stood to go Kirk saw him give the officer a hand sign Kirk knew only too well and saw him mouth :"Live long and prosper."

Calm, control, calm, control. It was like a chant in his ears as he looked Winstone, "Your room is upstairs?"

"Yes."

Officer Cullen walked in and over to them, "I hope you are now ready to return to the ship, Officer Win,"

Just as Kirk stood his communicator sounded and Kirk noticed it was a secured channel, "Kirk."

"Uhura , Sir."

Cullen was looking at him shaking his head when Winstone moved to stand in a way that moved Cullen slightly further from Kirk and said, "Sir, in reply to your question about,"

Kirk said a silent thanks when Winstone started to explain why he was not ready in a convoluted manner that Kirk knew even Spock would have found difficult to fully understand. Cullen possibly did not even notice how he was being moved by Winstone well out of earshot. .

"What is it, Uhura?"

"I, I ,"

"What Lieutenant?" there was something unsettling in her voice.

"I tapped into a private signal to the Commodore's aide from an unknown on the planet and recorded it. I, I think you should hear it, Sir. I know it is against,"

"Let me hear it."

"Cullen here. The Vulcan, where the hell is the Vulcan? Kirk is here and I don't want it found."

"We lost it."

"You what? I could have made a lot from it and you lost it?"

"We had it secured and so full of drugs that it should not have been able to move."

"Then exactly how did you lose it?" Fury and desperation was clear in the voice. The voice. Kirk closed his eyes as he recognized the voice Cullen's.

"We gave it the drugs as you told us and took it for the long run as you told us to and then gave it some more to make it more docile and cooperative yet also heighten its senses, secured it to one of the poles, secured it good and tight so its feet were just off the ground, and went in for a drink or two and came out to find a few people admiring it and willing to pay to play with it as it hung there. They did not rape it or anything, just liked watching how it reacted to being touched and all. We watched a bit to make sure but they just liked to feel him and watch his flesh move, watch him squirm at their touch. Gave him a bit more Gylonol and Nepol then, check that he was hanging just right, then went in for another beer."

There was laughter, "We went out after that and there were a lot more there wanting turns with it so we tied it with his hands further up, you know, stretching it a bit more to make sure that it reacted better to being touched. They seemed to really like how it was reacting although you could tell it sure didn't and would try to get away from their hands. Was making noises too. We thought of lowering it a bit but when we saw it was reacting better and the people were enjoying it better stretched like he was we left it like that. We watched a bit and when it stared to get a bit restless we gave it some more of both to make sure it wouldn't fuss too much but would still react enough to the touch to be entertaining for people to want to pay to feel him. You will like how much he has made for you. We waited a bit to make sure they were still enjoying it and to see that it was giving them their money's worth and then we went in for a meal and beers, using the money it had earned us. When we came out it was gone. Somebody would have had to carry him but nobody saw anything they thought unusual. Some guy just came out of the bar and carried it away like he was one of us. They did not see where he went.. Said he was decidedly a man who knew how to handle slaves. Just came out, right up to him, cut the ropes like they weren't there, let him fall to the ground, then slung him over his shoulder like he were nothing in weight and walked away. The Vulcan has gone."

"Find it."

"We have looked everywhere, even the rooms over at the fancy place, it isn't in the city. We have been out of the area looking for the past forty-six hours days. There is no sign of it and nobody has seen it. Some say the slave owner may be one from another country as many come here for fresh stock."

"Find it or proof that it is dead."

"Captain, communication ended there. I know I broke."

"Nothing, Uhura, you were doing you duty. Thank you."

"Sir," he heard the concern and disgust in her voice,"could, could he still be alive down there?"

"I don't know."

"Jim," it was McCoy and there was pain in his voice, "If he is somehow still alive he will be in serious trouble if they gave him that much Gylonol and Neopol. Dangerous stuff on full Vulcans and more than thirty mils of that combination a day would kill him without immediate medical treatment and with that hybrid biological makeup of his I don't want to think what they would have done to him. Jim,"

"Understood. Kirk out."

For a moment he sat still. So close. He had been so close. Kirk felt sick to the pit of his stomach thinking what had happened to his friend. A fury started to build in him.

He was dimly aware of Cullen's raised voice and he looked to see the Commodore's aide glaring at Winstone, "Well, go finish packing and be ready to beam up. You have had plenty of time."

"I will be ready shortly, Sir. I just have to rearrange some items I have in a crate in my room to be beamed aboard."

"No contraband? You know there are something on various planets not allowed on,"

Winstone pulled out an official receipt showing the crate had been checked. Kirk looked at it after Cullen had been quiet long enough to read it. Such a meticulous list would have pleased the authorities, even the most inexpensive and commonest of items, like twiddle sticks and worry beads, was listed. Kirk wondered if there was anybody aboard the Enterprise he had forgotten.

There was no doubting the surprise on Cullen's face when he looked at him then at Winstone, "You are taking one hundred and ninety-six kilograms of assorted gifts back?"

"I was stuck here by order of Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy and I had a lot of time to fill in. There are a lot of people to remember. Had time to get the right one for each one. I was late meeting the Captain as I needed to figure how to put in the last item." As Winstone reached out to take the authorization back from Kirk he gripped it in a way that made Kirk look at it again and saw the official stamp showing it had been officially checked and did not need to be scanned and gave him a sly smile, "As the Captain knows, not everybody would appreciate twiddle sticks or worry beads, things that are unusual. Special things for special people, you know. I still need to finish."

"The Captain and I will beam up first. How much longer would you need."

This time there was no mistaking that Winstone was looking right at him, "To finish cleaning and packing the last item I would like one standard hour. Could I ask the Captain to check with Doctor McCoy if I could have some plomak soup arranged for my arrival? I have heard of its medicinal properties and would like to try it."

Kirk was not sure, at that moment, who he was most disgusted with but noticed a strange look about Winstone's eyes, a look he could not quite understand as it both reassured him but also caused him a sense of unease.

"If Doctor McCoy thinks it will help in your recovery Captain Kirk will see you get it."

"Will both of you meet me in the Transporter Room?"

"Captain Kirk will, I have more urgent matters to attend to."

"Captain Kirk," still trying to control himself Kirk turned and looked at the Winstone, noticing for the first time he looked worse than when he had been brought to this hell hole, "please also tell Doctor McCoy I recovered."

"You have recovered."

" **No** ," it was slightly emphatic but the Commodore just looked at the two of them in annoyance. "Please just tell him I **recovered**."

"Right."

As they walked away the Cullen shook his head and half-chuckled, "A most unusual officer, Kirk. So considerate, thinking of the crew like that. It will be interesting to find out which of those items was for you."

Kirk hardly acknowledged the officers in the Transporter Room and went straight to his quarters and brought up the file on Vern Winstsone. Recovery specialist. Been on the ship since Pike, reason for extended leave to rest and ensure there was no physical exertion, just medically mandated rest.

.

McCoy walked in and handed him a Brandy, "Rough day at the office?"

"I feel I am still in a nightmare. You heard the call, thoughts?"

"You know without proof there are endless ways he can deny it and it would ruin Uhura's future."

"That's bad enough and on top of that I am fairly certain Officer Winstsone failed to follow your orders about resting. He was seen watching Spock being paraded as a slave and he looked like he had been active in outdoor pursuits although he claims he drank and fell.."

Kirk finished the coffee and paced, "Dammit Bones, he was alive and there three weeks ago with Officer Cullen . Officer Winstsone saw him."

"Saw him with the Commodore's aide ? Are you sure?"

"No, Officer Winstsone has said nothing about Spock to me but a lady there saw a man matching Officer Cullen showing Spock as his slave three weeks ago."

"Oh my gawd," lightly he touched his friend's sleeve, "If he was shown as a slave he,"

"I know, once a person is declared a slave they are there for life. All cargo leaving has to be checked. And all people leaving have to have proof they are free individuals, even the citizens have to have papers in order to leave and slaves do not have papers."

"Jim, like I said if they gave him that much Gylonol and Neopol he would be dead without immediate and professional medical aid and constant medical care for however long it took to get out of his system. Had to do a special course on treating Vulcans for both of them. An extremely messy initial treatment and during the withdrawal they often can get extremely physically aggressive, often lashing out at those treating them. If Vulcans and those along the same lines with copper-based blood are given small and regular doses of the two drugs then they are usually docile and obedient."

"Oh," Kirk turned and half-smiled, "Are you ready for this, Officer Winstsone wants to try plomak soup. Time down there did nothing for him. Even had to beam up after us as he had not finished packing and you should have seen the list of things he packed."

"Where are you off to?"

"He should be beaming aboard in three standard minutes and I want to be there as he as a lot of questions to answer."

In the turbolift McCoy looked at his friend and Captain, "Odd thing to ask for, how did he seem?"

"He did not look like he had rested and he helped a Vulcan slave to commit suicide."

'What? How? That does not sound like the Vern Winstone I know.

"

"Raw taktak seeds."

"Did the slave know?"

"Yes, but"

"Now that sounds like Vern, Just think, Jim. What if it had been Spock, Jim? What if somebody had come across Spock and the only things he knew were to obey and that being a slave was going to be his life? All those years ahead as a thing, of being a slave, of being aware of what was being done to him but not wanting to resist or knowing how to resist. All that made him who and what he was the drugs took away and left a body to be used. No, what he did was a kindness."

As they arrived in the Transported Room and walked over to the controls Kirk looked at his friend, "But he still has a lot to answer for and I will get those answers. Oh, he said to tell you he recovered"

"Energizing now."

The form of a man leaning slumped on a crate flickered and solidified.

"Home. Home. Home. Home. Home." Winstone was rambling. Kirk looked at McCoy, his proof that Winstone was mad and yet there was that nagging feeling that Winstone had been trying to tell him something, something important.

Bones started to run forward but Kirk grabbed him. " **Scan that crate!** "

"Jim?"

"Scan that crate."

"Fabric, alcohol, assorted small items," the officer checking the list cleared to be beamed up was nodding as Scotty stated what he saw in the scan, "cosmetics, shoes, some antique tools I'd asked the lad to look for, and, and," there was a surprised excitement in Scotty's voice and Kirk half turned to look at him and saw the man shake his head, "Nay, it canna be,"

 **"What?"**

* * *

 **A/N** Only this and the next chapter are overly graphic and then it is more about relationships/friendships and exposing the truth. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott turned briefly back to look at his scanner then looked at Kirk, "And a very, very strong **Vulcan lifeform** , Sir."

Kirk ran to the crate and, as McCoy gently eased Winstone to the floor, opened the crate. For a few seconds everything around him ceased to exist but the form he saw sprawled on top of trinkets. He just stared for a moment as he fought to control his relief and emotions just allowing himself to whisper, "Spock." as though both afraid to wake his friend as well as to awaken and find it a dream..

Gently, almost timorously as he was only just comprehending what had happened, he reached in and lifted his friend out. McCoy waved the mediscanner over Spock twice before looking him and Kirk saw the relief and truth plain about the blue eyes, "In a very, very deep sleep for a Vulcan. Residual traces of both drugs. No sign of any other injury internal or external. Best take him to,"

"I'll take him to my quarters. Cullen does not know he is alive let alone on the ship and I want to keep it that way. How is," Kirk glanced at the medical team putting Winstone on the gurney with McCoy hardly looking away from his patient.

"Going to Sickbay. You are right, Jim, he clearly did not rest. There are also signs of significant internal trauma, all his major organs appear to have sustained different levels of trauma, and he has lost substantial weight. I'll know more later."

"He was trying to tell me, Bones. He was trying to tell me what he had said one last item. He had the clearance to get the crate out unscanned," Kirk shook his head, "he just didn't list Spock, he mentioned the plomak soup, and then said to tell you he had recovered."

McCoy suddenly looked more intently at him and half-smiled, "Did he say **he had recovered** or **he recovered**?"

Gently Kirk cradled Spock in his arms and paused for a moment, "That's just what I asked him if he wanted me to say he had recovered and he emphatically said no, just to tell Doctor McCoy that he **recovered**." Kirk nodded, "He said I recovered, **what is the difference**?"

"Think, Jim. Think what he was doing with Spock. What you are holding is what **he recovered**. He would have known Spock belongs up here and would have decided that there was no way he was not going to get him back here. He was not talking about himself, Jim, he was talking about Spock, he was letting us know **he recovered Spock** not that he had recovered."

"'Special things for special people'."

"What was that, Jim?"

"Something he said down there that I now understand."

"Go now, Jim. Don't want the Cullen wondering what is taking you so long, do you? I'll let you know how he really is after I have had a chance to thoroughly examine him."

Once Kirk had Spock in his bed he went to his communications console, "Kirk to Bridge."

"Sulu here, Sir. We had been informed you had returned."

"My apologies for the delay. I seem to have contracted something while planet-side. I am temporarily indisposed."

Kirk heard Cullen say something and Commodore Tillis said something in reply and then clearly addressed him, "Kirk, some of the food served on places like Achimera will do that to even the best constitution. Have fourteen standard hours off, it usually passes in that time." in the background Kirk heard Cullen start to comment but obviously Tillis silenced him with a look. Kirk smiled as he knew first-hand how very expressive the man's face was when he wanted it to say what he verbally would not say, " I apologize for that hesitation but I will expect you on the bridge in fourteen standard hours."

"Understood, Sir. Thank you."

"I would have thought you could be more original, Jim."

In one motion Kirk was by his bed and gripping Spock's shoulders and looking down at his closest friend who he thought he would never see or hear again. "Best I could do at the time."

"How is Officer Winstsone?"

"McCoy is with him." All the questions Kirk had were slowly coming back through the feeling of wondrous joy of knowing he had his friend back. He would deal with the questions later, for now this, seeing and being with Spock, was more than enough.

"The good doctor would never tell me but I need to know if the drugs I was given were Gylonol and Neopol? They are drugs that cause serious loss of both mental and phycal abilities in Vulcans. And half-Vulcans from what I experienced. It was originally given to Vulcans in the correct doses to enables them, and those with copper based blood, to control undesirable mental and physical states but given in excess it causes total suppression of mental abilities and a lessening of physical abilities. The withdrawal from the medication after even a just three doses has to be controlled otherwise violent and vivid hallucinations occur" As close a look of panic as Kirk had ever seen flashed to Spock's face as he seemed to remember past events, he shook his head, "Jim, how is Officer Winstone? I, I recall attacking him."

Almost immediately Kirk wanted to say that he was fine, anything to take that hurt and haunted look, the reflection of the feelings so many said Vulcans did not have, from his friend, but he just gripped both of his friend's hands and said, "Bones is with him. He could not get better care."

As he looked at his friend Kirk was aware that Spock was studying him, searching for a telltale sign then he felt his hands being squeezed and saw Spock nod as he saw the truth on his friend's face, "You are right, Jim. He could not get better medical treatment than from McCoy. I will see him later. **We must talk about recent events.** "

"There will be a time and place for," Kirk started.

"No Jim, we need to talk about it now and I believe **it best to record this** so not only you know but also **if testimony is required of all that happened**." Kirk nodded turned on the recorder and saw Spock nod. "It must be known that the Commodore's aide, **Officer** **Brent** **Cullen** **,** **is a** **main** **part** **of** **this**."

Kirk nodded as he sat on the bed and looked at his friend, "Ready to talk?"

Spock still lay in the bed but steeped his fingers and looked at his Captain and his friend. "Commodore Tillis, Officer Cullen, and I left the tavern they had been at. We walked towards the designated meeting place. I was vaguely aware of ten men showing an interest in us and almost encircling us about the same time I had a sensation of some form of hypodermic being pressed against my neck and vaguely hearing Cullen saying they knew where to take me and how to get me ready. When the effects of the drug wore off I found myself hanging by my wrists, naked, cold, and blindfolded and with something foul tasting in my mouth. I tried to engage the mild rules but seemed blocked and I oddly felt no need to struggle. I am unsure how long I was like that. I was aware of being alone. Then Cullen was before me, making me swallow some liquid and take a pill. I saw no reason to resist. He had some others there and he had them fondle me, arouse me and while I was aware of the different sensations and would occasionally try to move I saw no reason to resist."

"Oh, Spock,."

Momentarily Spock closed his eyes then opened his eyes as he reached out and took Kirk's hands in his, "Jim, it was a state of non-existence. I was fully aware of what was being done to me and yet I did not object. It was as though I have given up total control of myself. I was aware of what is happening but was not aware of caring. I had no memory of who I was or where I was and simply accepted what was being done to me. My body would react to their touches but I was not aware of their emotions. Cullen had me stand before him and was looking right at me while he aroused me to climax, while I did what he told me to do, and I was unable to answer his questions. I felt nothing. He said he had given me too much and that he would be back after they had flushed me out. The two men he had left me with did a crude but effective pumping of my stomach and when Cullen came back and again stood before me arousing me I did try to move away which only made him laugh and say he thought I was about ready and when I was unable to say who I was or where I was from but could answer basic affirmative or negative questions he said I was ready. He put a collar around my neck, secured my hands behind my back, and walked me around through the city letting anybody who wanted to, to, to touch me, to feel me, to,"

Kirk sat on his bed and gave Spock's hands a reassuring squeeze, "Spock you don't have to,"

"You need to hear it, Jim. **I need you to know before a trial. I need you to know**."

Kirk nodded, "Okay."

"I remember people saying about using me as breeding stock, about enjoying me before I wore out and Cullen said he had a lot to think about my future uses which had caused great laughter. He gave me more liquid to swallow and secured me to a wall. I do not know how long I was there before he came back and again walked me around and again people were allowed to, to,"

"It's okay Spock, I know what you mean."

"He had not given me as much of the liquid so I could feel more, I tried to move more which seemed to cause more interest and merriment. He had more offers of people wanting to buy me, to use me. He had two men run me and run me and run me till I could hardly stand and then had me swallow a pill and drink more liquid. Again I was in that room. Cullen came back, it was the same liquid and pill, and a longer walk and him saying that he would be back in three weeks to decide what to do with me but he would leave me with trusted handlers. He walked me around the town then into a different tavern and onto a stage where he let people examine me, fondle me, arouse me and make an offer for me. He paused as he led me off the stage to say I would be available for strictly inspection for twenty days and then he would take the best offer for me."

It was becoming difficult for Kirk to control the rage growing inside him and he knew he was going to find time alone with Cullen.

"No, Jim." When he opened his eyes and looked Spock he saw the acceptance and understanding he had always found with this special being yet also a form of pure delight. "This," Kirk felt the long fingers squeeze his hand, "simple feeling, the ability to feel and understand the emotions of another, was beyond me. My body was just naturally reacting to the outside stimuli. The drugs were blocking my mental and limiting my physical abilities. I had no understanding of what was being done to me nor of what I was doing. I only did what I was told but had no real thought of my own."

For a few minutes Spock lay with his eyes shut and Kirk struggled to curb his desire to do severe bodily damage to Cullen. "He had me alone in the room and gave me a pill and some liquid and said I would give him more money than the other non-Vulcans had. I heard him tell the two men I was not to be raped until his return but they could do anything else with me that entertained them in the way of arousing me and having fun with me. He told them to exercise me daily, to display me in as many ways as they could in as many positions as possible, to let those who wished to touch me to do so, and to keep me under their control as well as ensuring I was also kept regularly drugged. I was not to be raped as he wanted to be sure whoever bought me was the first to fully use me as that was what he was known for, giving the buyers what he called the firsts conquest."

"Oh, Spock," Kirk did not know what to say.

"After he left they left me hanging for I do know how long. I was naked, cold, and alone. When they returned they took me out and ran with me, taking turns running with me, till I could hardly stand, gave me some liquid and a pill and tied me to a pole outside a tavern. While they were inside people came over to me and would laugh as my body reacted to what they did to me. The men came out and laughed as I had to drink more liquid and they moved me slightly so I was not against a pole but hung from a beam with my bound hands higher above the ground, with my toes hardly touching the ground but so I could be spun and swung which seemed to attract a larger crowd.. By stretching me like that it seemed to heighten my body's awareness to what was being done and would react to what they were doing to me and I would more move which seemed to delight them. The two men gave me more liquid and a pill and laughed as they watched how the people enjoyed their turns with me and laughed at the amount of money people were paying them to examine me. I lost track of time after they gave me more liquid and another pill. I also lost consciousness although I had a flash of memory when a voice I had heard before say my name and asked me to trust him. Then it might have been a state of pure delusion but I believe it was Officer Winstsone."

"Officer Winstsone must have seen you."

"I was not aware of that, Jim, as at the time all I could do was what I was told to do by those men. The only three faces that were familiar were their faces. I know there was a great number of people who saw me and Cullen let them touch me in many ways in many places. I then have a vague recollection of being aware that I was warm, I was covered in a bed and not alone. I recall having to fight to protect my space, I remember fighting at least two or three times a day, I remember some demon trying to drown me in my bed. I was oddly aware that I did not belong there yet it felt like home, it felt safe. I was starting to feel again, to realize who I was, where I was, but beyond that was a blur. I knew I would remember but mainly I realized that I was not alone. And, after several days and many fights and vomiting whatever the demon tried to make me swallow, I oddly had a sense that I was safe."

"I, I am so sorry, Spock. The Commodore wouldn't let me stay and search for you as he had his orders, reminded me that I had mine, and said when we returned for Winstone there would be a search to find you or what had happened to you."

"Plus it is a hands-off planet, Jim. I remember thinking as the drugs started to block my pathways to my mind that I would spend my life there as nothing but property. My first real awareness was of being in a bedroom. I remembered somebody trying to drown me, somebody sitting on my back with my head up pouring the foulest liquid in my mouth, remember them stroking my throat forcing me to swallow more and more. I remember losing control of my bodily functions at least fifteen times over the first four days that I had been forced to drink the hot foul liquid. On the fifth day when the person tried to sit on my back I managed to roll over and attack them. I remember throwing the person against a wall, watching it hit the wall and lay still nine times then nothing cohesive till I woke to find Officer Winstsone trying to get me to lie in **a cavity in a wall**."

" **He** **what**?

"He had made a cavity in the wall of the room. You would not know it was there just by looking about in the room and had me stay there whenever he left. I remember smelling strong cleaning fluids and noticed the floor had been recently sanitized. I also remember hearing the voices of those two men as they moved about the room saying, " _Nothing in here but a lot of tourist junk_." I remember seeing the person bringing the meals in and then him waiting till there was no sound of footsteps before helping me out of the hiding space."

"Did, did you remember him?"

"Only in the last eight point eight one days did my memories regarding the crew of the Enterprise return. For three point nine six days of those days all I knew was that I knew him, knew that he had saved me, had taken me in, had cared for me. He had saved me. My actual recollection of him crystalized only two point eight one days ago and I remembered not only who he was and what he had done to and for me but also why he was there. It was only then I fully realized he had not been eating the food that was delivered, that it was for me though he would occasionally have some and I realized he seemed to be in constant and considerable pain. It was in that time I saw bruises and marks on him indicating recent fighting and I realized that what I thought had been nightmares and fighting demons had been him at first treating me, then dealing with my getting the remnants of the drugs from my systems."

"I," for a moment dark eyes looked into Kirk., "I also realized that a small bed was the only warm part of the room and at night," he closed his eyes and shook his head and Kirk nodded,

"You had to be warm, Spock."

"I was but he, he made sure I was warm while he slept on the floor by the door. I, I once got up to see if he was alive, he was so quiet and still, and he suddenly turned, ready to fight, till he saw it was me. He was protecting me even at night. I believe he had me sleeping in bed while he slept on the floor since he rescued me .

"Two days ago a very large crate was delivered, he filled it with many small items, and then filled out a form. An Achimeraian official arrived later in the day to check what was going in the crate. There were so many items listed that the official took a long time to check it and told him he wished others were so thorough and honest about exactly what was in the crate. The official was also surprised at the amount of stuff he was taking till he said he had something for everyone on the ship. The official asked him to seal the crate and he said he would as soon as he had the last item in it it he would as he wanted to repack the crate so that the most important gift was on the top. There had been a long silence and the official laughed and asked if that gift was not only one that he and others had seen on display but was for somebody special on the ship and Winstone said that he had seen the gift on display and was a very special gift. The official had said the item had to have been on public display and he said it had been on very public display. Winstone said he had knew there were others like the gift around but this was special and he wanted to position it so that a special person was the first to see the special,"

"Thing," Kirk nodded. Knowing now why there had been no official seal on the crate, why it was not scanned before it left the planet. Officer Winstsone had thought of that and made sure it would not be scanned. "It was his way of getting you out as the crate was not scanned.".

Spock raised an eyebrow, "He, Winstone, said that as there were delicate items in the crate and as he had seen there was nothing illegal going in there was no need for the crate to be scanned. There was some hesitation by the official till Winstone suddenly remembered there was a bottle of rare wine he had brought down from the ship he was meant to have drunk that he had not yet packed. The official signed the form stating the crate contained only those items stated and that it did not require scanning. Once the official had gone he helped me out for the hiding place, looked at me, then took several items out of the crate and packed it again then looked at me again before he said, "Now I will be able to fit you in. I'm not too sure how long Vulcan's like being curled in cases. it will only be for just under two standard hours and I have made a vent mask for you so you will be able to breathe."

For a moment Spock was quiet and shook his head. "Yesterday he said he had to arrange beam-up and pay for the accommodation and was gone for one point five hours then came back, and helped me into the crate. It was not until he was trying to help me into the crate that I not only realized he still had in no way even partly recovered as he lacked most his former strength, nor just how extremely thin he was, and, from how he just leaned against the crate for a moment with his eyes closed breathing heavily, even that slight effort had greatly taxed him. It was almost as though he were about to collapse but had one last thing to do. He helped fit the mask he had made to let be breathe, looked at me and said, "I may see you on the Enterprise." and only then did I see blood dripping from his mouth and nose. Only then did I see from the look in his eyes he was in great pain."

Spock suddenly gripped Kirk's hands. "I knew you would be the one to be there. That was one thing that was constant despite the drugs. The name _ **Jim**_. I felt safe when I thought of that name."

There was a long silence as the men just sat holding hands thinking of what could have been.

"Sickbay to Kirk."

"Kirk here."

"The Commodore's aide is here, sticking his fingers into my business, checking on Winstsone. Asking if he had seen anything unusual down there while he was there and asking him the question I am now going to ask. What gift did he bring you?" there was a pause, "I got a band of worry beads."

"I got," Kirk suddenly tried to remember some of the things that were listed as in the crate and how many would have been left to fit Spock in as the authorization said it was filled to capacity then he remembered what Winstsone had said about not everybody appreciating things that were unusual, what he had looked at him so intently in the café and mention. "I got a twiddle stick, you know, one of those old fashioned sticks you flex your fingers with."

"How very apt as you do, Captain, seem to flex your fingers quite often. I hope you are feeling better."

"Much better, thank you, I will be on the Bridge on time. Doctor McCoy, how is Officer Winstsone?"

"If it is alright with the others I would like you to see him before you go to the Bridge, he," only having known McCoy so long Kirk and Spock exchanged glances, he was thinking of a reason, "'he wants to speak with the Captain."

"About what?" Cullen sounded highly annoyed and Kirk almost smiled.

"How the hell do I know? Something said or done down there most likely. He just wants to apologise and I know, for my patient's good, he should as that would be one less thing concerning him. Any objections?""

"Kirk, see him and then report to the bridge. The Commodore will want to talk over the final part of this trip on the Enterprise with you."

"I will be there shortly. Kirk out."

As Kirk paused for a moment to look at Spock. For so long he had thought he would never see or talk with him again. Now to have to deal with who was responsible for all that had happened and not being able to do anything was frustrating him but he was able to see and thank the one who prevented it from remaining a nightmare. In the dark eyes watching him he was total acceptance and love as well as the understanding that was always there. "I, I won't be that long."

"I am fine now, Jim. I shall rest till you return."

"I'll see Winstone and let you know how he is."

"Let him know I will speak with him later. We do have several matters to take care of and to discuss."

"Yes, we," Kirk stopped as he realized Spock meant he and Winstone. He also had things to discuss with Winstone and nodded, "we both do."

In Sick Bay Kirk noticed that his Chief Medical Office and friend had Officer Winstsone in the rarely used extreme intensive care section of Sickbay and on full monitors in a deep most likely medicated sleep. Kirk could not remember ever seeing an officer so ensnared with tubes and wires as Winstone was, "Bones?"

"Okay, I lied. When it was here Winstsone was semi-awake and most restive. As soon as he saw Cullen was here he looked at me clearly very confused and just said, " _I need the Captain. I need the Captain_." and Cullen said he could see you after he answered six yes/no questions. When he asked him if he had seen anything unusual down there Winstsone looked right at him and said no. Five different ways it asked him questions about things down then and our boy was only saying **no**. Cullen then nodded and said he would tell the Commodore of his condition and when ii looked again at Winstone he was going into total collapse and I have only just got him stabalized."

"Your worry beads gave me a hint, thanks. Now, how's Winstsone?"

McCoy shifted on his feet, looked at the floor then at him, "Not that good."

"Bones," there was something in the way McCoy had said it that Kirk knew meant he was hiding the truth.

" **What do you want to hear** , Jim? He was to rest and recover and he comes back dangerously underweight like he had not eaten anything substantial in some time and from the looks of him I would say he had been a series of fights with a certain party who was not aware of the fragility of the Human body. Not to be too detailed all his major organs are severely bruised and will take a very long time to heal even with regen, he has nine major bones broken, his skull has cracks, several joints are dislocated, and I doubt if there is any part of him that does not have severe tissue damage or at least great tenderness due to strains and sprain. He is dehydrated and his digestive system is totally disrupted. The repeated bruising of his lungs has meant I am going to have to ventilate him once he is more stabilized as that stress he had with that thing here. And don't ask me about his circulatory system."

McCoy reached out and briefly stroked Winstone's head in a way Kirk knew showed love yet fear of awakening him, " **Damn it to hell, Jim!** He is in worse condition than when he went down. I am aware of what I owe him for finding and bring back my friend, I am aware there is no way I can ever explain to him what it means to me to have Spock back. As soon as Cullen left I let him know Spock was resting. **Resting**. I have not told him that Spock will be fine. He seems to be wanting to know that but in his condition, and having spent enough time with the man as a patient over the years, I am sure if he knew that, if he knew Spock was going to be fine, he would let go of whatever it is that is keeping him here. By telling him Spock is resting he does not know the full truth and I am not lying to him."

McCoy paused and looked at him and Kirk saw the pain, no, Kirk realized, it was more a hell his friend was in, "Don't look at me like that, Jim. I know I am in my own self-made purgatory right now. My telling him the truth would kill him yet it is killing me knowing the hell he is in and is going to be in for some time. I want to thank him for saving my friend yet it I do he will know that Spock is going to be fine and he will stop fighting and just die. That blasted oath! **THAT** **BLASTED** **OATH**!"

When McCoy paused and looked at him Kirk saw the hell his friend was in, "Bones?" McCoy had his eyes closed and was shaking his head. Not sure of what to do Kirk reached out and lightly touched McCoy's arm, "Bones?"

* * *

A/N A fantastic ANZAC Day - time to really remember the events of WWI (and the other wars) and the cementing in blood of the bond between the armies of New Zealand and Australia. Thanks for reading and have fun!


	3. Chapter 3

"I, I took an oath, Jim, an oath to apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures which are required. I also swore the addition to the oath in that I will do no harm to my patient and attempt to preserve their life and their quality of life. By helping him, by applying all measures, I am causing him great pain, pain that is beyond the level of the register." Kirk glanced over and saw that the red light on the pain register that usually flashed when the patient's pain level was reaching a critical level was not flashing but was on constantly and the register indicator was at the top of the gauge, "I'm harming him by keeping him alive like that, I'm the one causing him that sort of pain, Jim, and yet if I do not treat him like that I will cause him not only pain but also his death."

For a moment there was silence and Kirk knew how deeply McCoy felt each death of a patient under his care and how not being able to help a patient frustrated him. He knew that this would be difficult for his friend as this patient had saved Spock/s life in at least two ways. There had to be some way for him to help McCoy out of the well of blame he was in. Something he had seen teased at the back of his mind. When he had come into Sickbay there had been an officer just standing there, an officer he knew was from security.

"Don't you have another patient to take care of? I saw a security officer in,"

A smile unlike any he had ever seen on McCoy's face flashed across the familiar features then the blue eyes looked at him. There was still pain there but also a now growing resolution, "Donaldson is there to stop me doing what only that blasted oath is stopping me from doing. Jim, he is also there to stop me from killing, in ways you would not even envisage in your worst nightmare, the person who did this to him."

Seldom had Kirk seen McCoy so certain, so prepared. To have a security officer at hand to prevent him from killing either Winstosne or. He shook his head. He was not sure how McCoy would react if Spock came down and said what he had done, he was not sure what McCoy would do.

"Bones, you said earlier that the drugs that were used on Spock,"

Kirk could not recall any time when he had ever seen such a murderous look about the eyes that had glared at him, "Why that cold-blooded," then a sudden look of shock and horror, "Ohmigawd! Spock can not know how bad Winstone is. I'll have Donaldson get another officer down here in case he comes down. He cannot know what," Kirk was aware that the blue eyes were almost scanning his face and knew that McCoy would ses the truth. "You have to keep him away from here, Jim. He is still not fully himself and we both know he will take the blame for what the drugs made him do. With the amount that he was most likely given he was possibly quite violent during any form of withdrawal and possibly for some time after."

"Spock did not actually say that but he did confirm the treatment does make a Vulcan extremely violent. I will wait till the appropriate time to tell him of the damage caused." when McCoy kept looking at him Kirk knew he had to say a bit more but did not want to tell McCoy more than he needed to know. "He told me what happened, all of what happened to him. He is aware that on several occasions he attacked Winstone but has no clear recollection of how often or how long each attack lasted. I think he may suspect what sort of damage he did but not exactly what he did. He only started to remember us eight days ago and only really remembered Winstone two days ago but did not know how severely injured he is although he did realize that when he had thought he was fighting demons it had been Winstone and possibly realized he would have done so in full Vulcan mode."

McCoy closed his eyes and sighed then shook his head and all but sighed, "He would have been in full Vulcan mode, with those drugs he would not have held hold back." then looked Kirk, "I do not envy you, Jim."

"What do you mean, Bones?"

"I have my duty here with Winstone. You have your duty to the ship as well as to Spock and you just know he will want to be in here telling me my duty and attempting to take over his care as well as wanting to be up on the bridge watching Tillis and Cullen. He will do that and then try to tell me that Vulcan's have no emotions and therefore feels no obligation and tell you that he is just ensuring that the standards are maintained on the bridge." McCoy smiled, "Do you think I should ask Donaldson to get escorts to watch our cunning little Vulcan whenever he leaves his or your quarters?"

Kirk smiled back, "I'll keep that in mind, Bones. Right now my main concern is to not let Cullen know he is aboard the ship."

McCoy suddenly went still and looked steadily at him for a moment, studying the familiar face, then crossed his arms and his voice hardened, "Are you, are you telling me that Tillis and Cullen might have been involved in all of this?"

Damn, Kirk cursed himself for being so careless, McCoy was only too aware of most of his reasoning. "Didn't it seem odd to you how, at the start when Spock was taken, how Cullen went down those two other times allegedly to follow leads? How Cullen was not as injured at Tillis?"

"I thought this was a just another pre-treaty mission," a part of McCoy's brain was putting the pieces together and he did not want to believe what it was revealing. "I. I thought, after the attack and after I had reviewed my findings, that it was because Tillis might have fought more that his injuries were more severe than Cullen's ones. To me it seemed that Cullen's injuries would have been enough to initially stun him but not disable him. Would have made Tillis an easier target. He said he had no idea what had happened to Spock, said that he was more concerned about Tillis."

"Spock told me of his involvement," Kirk saw the fury building in his friend, "and before you say or do anything I am going to wait for the right moment when we have irrefutable proof of his actions and involvement."

"What?" Kirk saw pure almost unbridled fury, about the blue eyes and possessing the so very familiar face before him, "What did that,"

Kirk let out a long slow breath, shook his head as he not only remembered what Spock had said but also knew how McCoy would most likely react, and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "You really don't want to know, Bones. You do not need to know it all. It is enough that you saw and have to deal with the result of what happened down there without the details. I will say, Bones, that from what Spock said about what happened this was clearly not Cullen's first time to do this there."

"Do you think Tillis, could Tillis,"

"No," Kirk shook his head and looked at his Chief Medical Officer, "From what you said I do not think the injuries to Tillis were made by people he knew. Now we both know I'm not medically trained but from what I saw and from what you said they could have killed him. All that Tillis has said is that he hopes to remember more before we return him to Command."

McCoy was quiet for a moment as he remembered the first word Tillis had said when he regained consciousness and how he had thought the man had wanted to see his aide. Tillis had said, "Cullen." Thinking back on it McCoy realized he had said it in an odd way that he now realized was not wanting to see the man but naming him as one of the attackers. He had noticed how there had been a very strange formality between them when Cullen finally had come to see Tillis and how it was Tillis who had let Cullen initiate the conversation. Cullen had asked him what he remembered and seemed very relaxed when Tillis had said he did not recall what had happened. Aware that Kirk was watching him intently McCoy nodded, "His injuries were not those meant to cause just unconsciousness but real brain damage. Tillis can be thankful he has a very medically thick skull."

Kirk half-smiled, "Talking of thick skulls, we best not tell Scotty about what we think as,"

"I had told him," McCoy looked from Kirk to the sole patient in the extreme intensive care section, "before we left the transporter room not to tell the others, that you would tell them about Spock and I would let him know about Winstone. I haven't mentioned my suspicions to anyone other than you just now."

McCoy nodded as he looked back at Kirk, "The one I'm a bit more concerned about finding out about Cullen's involvement is Scotty. It was because of that fool stunt Winstone did that saved Sulu and Scotty while they and Spock were testing a theory Scotty and Spock had that had Winstone resting on that god-forsaken planet in the first place."

Just before all this had happened Kirk remembered how Sulu with Scotty and Spock had wanted to test a theory the three of them had about getting more from the engines and there had been some form of energy transfer malfunction that had caused a small explosion and Winstone had done a running tackle that knocked all three of them clear of where a highly charged coil was flaying and would have killed them. While Spock and Scotty had been able to regain control of the power surges Sulu had made sure that Winstone did not move as he had been badly injured as his momentum had not only knocked the three of them clear but caused him to slam his back into the bottom of the access ladder.

As though knowing what Kirk was thinking about McCoy out a hand on his shoulder, "We can't let Spock know that what he did severely compounded that."

Kirk smiled as he looked at McCoy. "I think we both know that Spock would already know that, Bones."

"Well, care to tell me just what you are going to tell him when you go back and he asks how Winstone is? You know he will know if you do not tell the whole truth."

"I'll deal with it at the time. Right now I better get up to the bridge." Kirk started for the door then stopped and looked back at his friend, "Mind telling me what you told Cullen had caused that damage?"

"I owe Winstone a huge apology, Jim, as I told Cullen that he apparently got into a drunken fight and clearly was fighting more than one opponent."

"Cullen accept that?"

"Yes, and he had the gall to say he would have to not only report it but also have him officially reprimanded for being drunk and disorderly off the ship. Put me on the spot by saying he would wait till I gave him a blood toxicology report before telling Tillis about it."

"You'll think of something, Bones. I'll go to the bridge then back to my quarters. I just want to see how things are up there as Tillis gave me a few hours to recover trom something I picked up down there."

"You didn't tell me that you were feeling," McCoy stopped as he looked at his captain and friend and saw that smile about his eyes, as McCoy heard faint echoes of that blasted word " _recover_ ". "You mean Spock."

"Yes, but Tillis does not know." Kirk smiled back, "Spock said he thought I would have come up with something more original. I did not lie to a senior officer."

"I'll go down later and give him a thorough check-up but right now,"

"Right now he wold expect you to be in there with Winstone. He would expect you to be you, Bones, and not leave a patient in the condition Winstone is in alone."

"Just let him know I'll be down there to check him out before he even thinks of leaving your quarters. The readings I got when I first checked him indicated nothing of great concern, nothing that a good few meals and some sleep would not take care of but he'll try to use that spiel about Vulcans not needing the same sustenance and rest that we mere Humans do. It is up to you, Captain, to make sure that your First Officer stays where he is till after I see him."

"I'll contact you when I go back to my quarters and you can have Donaldson use the scanner to show Spock that Winstone is being closely monitored and that you are with him." Kirk saw the slight nod McCoy gave him, "I think that should make he be a bit more settled."

"Good idea, Jim. Donaldson can man the visual monitor so that I can point out to Spock those areas I am not so concerned about."

"We both know he will,"

"What he wants and what he gets, for now, are going to be different but at least he will see that Winstone is where he belongs."

"I'll contact you when I am back in my quarters."

"Okay, just **do not do anything** that might even remotely arouse Cullen's suspicions."

""I won't."

Kirk was just walking from the turbolift when he heard Tillis saying, "Thank you for notifying me, Doctor McCoy, he has just arrived on the bridge." and was slightly surprised to see the man was standing as Sulu was in the chair, " I shall ensure he does not stay long and returns to his quarters. Tillis out." From how Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura glanced from him to Cullen and back to him it was clear that they were wary about him and had obviously heard McCoy tell Tillis that he was there just to see the crew and was to return to his quarters to recover.

He was aware of Cullen really looking at him, almost studying him, he was also aware of a deep feeling of wanting to kill the man with his bare hands. Without being really aware of it he started to take a second step forward when Chekov suddenly jumped between him and Cullen, hugging him as one does when the other being looks as though they were about to fall.

"Are you alright, Keptin?" Chekov securely held him as he regained his composure, "Doctor McCoy said,"

"I am fine, thank you, Chekov. A momentary pain spasm is all." He felt the arms release him and saw the slight nod as his navigator walked back to his post.

"Perhaps Doctor McCoy is correct in that you should be in your quarters, Captain."

"I confess I have to agree in this instance, Sir." That statement had the effect he had wanted as Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu looked intently at him, "I just wanted to see how my senior crew was dealing with the absence of Mister Spock."

There was just the subtlest of movements by the three Kirk had been looking at that only one who knew them as he did would have noticed. One by one he had looked at each of them and seen the slightest of a nod from each. Only Uhura had briefly closed her eyes, Kirk knew to Cullen and Tillis it would seen like a blink but Kirk was sure Chekov and Sulu also knew, as he did, that it was a prayer of thanks. Both Chekov and Sulu had both given a slight nod and only having known them for so long let Kirk see the slight upturn of their lips. **They understood**. They were inscrutable to those who did not know them, who did not know what to look for. Scotty had not told them but **they** now **knew**.

"If I may say so, Captain Kirk, you truly do have a command crew others would envy." Kirk only just controlled the urge to react when Cullen spoke but instead just looked at him. "It is known that your crew, of all the crews in the fleet, are more a family than a collection of officers and yet there has been no appreciable difference in their approach to their duties since the incident."

"Yes, I have heard that said many times and out here we are one another's family." Kirk glanced at the three then back at Cullen, "In some ways this bridge crew is a closer family than a blood related family but it is understood that the bridge is no place for attention to anything but the task at hand. Whatever anyone is feeling on a personal level is not talked about or shown on the bridge nor in any of the essential sections of the ship. What you term the incident has been largely dealt with. We will adjust. Now, if you will excuse me I will return to my quarters."

"Certainly, Kirk, it was good of you to check on your senior crew." Tillis looked at him and Kirk was not sure how to read the expression on the man's face, "I must inform you that Mister Cullen reminded me that no ship has stopped by Biron Base Twenty-eight for at least a year and that as we have ample supplies we could let them have sufficient supplies so as to not have to consider rationing what they have any further than they normally do till the usual delivery due in twenty standard days. We will have six standard hours there and then return to Command."

"Understood, Sir." Kirk was sure he had seen something and heard something in the man's voice that was different. Something to do with the detour and the change in final destination. He had not been aware that they were to return to Command.

On his way back to his quarters he stopped briefly in Sickbay only to find McCoy beside the bed Winstone was on, holding his hand and talking to him, "Now, you just rest there a spell, Vern, I need to get a coffee as I'm gonna stay right here with you just as you stayed with Spock despite the beating you got. Now Jim might have believed what I told him, but I don't think he's ready to hear how bad you got hurt helping Spock. Oh, he knows about what you went down to rest up from but not what those beatings from Spock really did to you. I may have to tell him, but,"

Kirk had taken a few steps closer, aware McCoy did not know he was there, even as he reached out saying softly, "right now you need that coffee and a talk, Bones."

Under his hand he felt McCoy's shoulder stiffen, "But for now you rest, Vern. I'll go have a cup of coffee and come back."

"Helluva thing to do to a doctor talking privately with a patient, Jim. Rank or no rank there is a thing called doctor patient confidentiality." Kirk could see the annoyance yet understanding on his friend's face.

"And there's a thing call honesty, Bones. When I asked about Winstone,"

"You were still in a highly emotional state from all that had happened to Spock. Now you have calmed down a tad I can tell you that all that work he went down to recover from my doing needs to be done again along with several sessions of manipulative surgery and," for a moment McCoy bowed his head and let out a long breath then looked back at Kirk who saw his friend's efforts to accept what was to come for his patient was troubling him, "and even then there is no certainty as to how many weeks or months of physical therapy, very intensive physical therapy, he will need and if it will even do any good for him."

Clearly on his friend's face, and especially about the blue eyes, Kirk saw the truth, a truth McCoy did not want to accept, a truth he wanted to hide from not only him but also Spock. Carefully he reached out and put a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Tell me, Bones. Tell me so I can help. Tell me and I,"

"You and I cannot do a thing, **not a damned thing** , for Winstone but wait. We sure as hell cannot tell Spock the truth as to how he is, about what he is likely to face. If he knew," McCoy bowed and shook his head then looked back at Kirk, "You and I know what it would do to that damned Vulcan to know the truth. We both know how he says his actions are always based on **pure logic** and how he would see what he did to Winstone while he was under the influence of very powerful and potent drugs as being his fault, as a result of him not being able to control his emotions.. That stubborn Vulcan will think he should have been able to somehow overcome the effects of that much Gylonol and Nepol."

Again McCoy closed his eyes and sighed, "Being given so much of both of them should have totally destroyed that Vulcan mind and left him only the basics of obedience, dependence, and being little more than an obedient object as they are both drugs that are deceptive. They take a few hours to really kick in. At first just they relax the mind and body but the more that is given the time factor and impact factors change. It takes a drastic almost barbaric initial treatment to fully and quickly effectively purge the digestive system and a physical and mental challenge to help the patient get their mind back. Initially Winstone would have fought back, would have made Spock think, made Spock figure out ways to fight back. Damned stubborn fool knew getting him to think was only part of recovery, knew he had to get Spock to solve problems."

McCoy opened his eyes and shook his head before looking at Kirk and for a moment Kirk saw deep pain yet also a sort of awe of his friend's face, "Somehow that stubborn sonufabitch knew that Spock had to engage his mind in a survival mode to get it back. He knew he had to make Spock think of new and different ways to fight. His body just was not designed for a fight with a Vulcan not in control of their emotions or strength. He would have known Spock would have been in full-Vulcan mode and yet he had to provoke him, had to make him need to solve a problem. It is clear that what he did to Winstone was clearly done during repeated and prolonged attacks and we both know that that is not at all like Spock. We both know how he will think he was responsible. Somehow Winstone was able to endure it long enough to get Spock through, was able to first purge his physical being then helped him fight the mental effects. He did all that but his body is now paying the price."

For a moment McCoy was silent then shook his head before he looked searchingly at Kirk, "As part of that oath I took, I also swore to attempt to preserve the life of my patients life and their quality of life. Just look, Jim. Just look at him and those blasted registers. Look at them and tell me how I can possibly preserve the quality of his life. Look at them and also see what we cannot tell Spock."

Although he did not thoroughly understand the full implication of what the full bank of registers was showing to McCoy, Kirk did know the pain levels were at the top of the register and seemed to be trying to set new higher levels. He saw that there were fluctuating reading for registers of barin activity. And he saw the two that were showing his heart was still beating regularly and he was still breathing. Slowly and saddened he nodded as he accepted that McCoy was right, they could not tell Spock. Although their Vulcan friend had avowed so many times he had no emotions they both knew just what deep emotions he had and they both were aware of how he would blame himself for the extensive damage he had done to Winstosne and would not accept that he had no control at the time.

"I agree, Bones. I also now fully understand why you have Donaldson there. He's about the only officer who could, if necessary, physically restrain Spock long enough for others to come to his aid." Kirk looked one last time back at Winstone then at McCoy, "I'll go back to my quarters now. I let the three up there know Spock was back.. Don't look at me like that, only the three realized what I meant."

Not knowing what else to do Kirk placed a hand on is friend's shoulder, "Chekov stopped me from doing to Cullen what I wanted to. Made him rushing and hugging me seem like I had staggered. I also cannot say what or why but I think Tillis has his doubts about Cullen. I'll check on you later."

"Like I said, Jim. When you get back to your quarters we can link so Spock can see how Winstone really is. Then we will have to wait."

Just for a moment Kirk thought of telling McCoy about the change of plans but just nodded, "I'm sure he will appreciate being able to see Winstone but the waiting is not going to be easy, for any of us." as he left Sickbay.

* * *

A/N Thanks for reading. Be back in about ten days - actually getting a bit of fine weather before winter really arrives I have a multitude of tasks I would like to get done outside. Take care, have fun, and enjoy.


	4. Chapter 4

When he got back to his quarters Kirk was surprised to find that Spock was not alone. The first thing he was aware of was his Chief Engineer standing between him and Spock with a phaser pointed at him. He then saw Spock raise an eyebrow, and then saw the chessboard that indicated they were in the middle of a game.

"Ahh, Sir," the Engineer quickly lowered the weapon, "I twas just making sure that whoever did what was done to Spock and Winstone would nay get him again. McCoy told me he has Donaldson there so I know they are safe."

"I tried to persuade Mister Scott that it was not necessary but he said it made him feel better to be sure. He was kind enough to bring me a salad and some Vulcan tea."

While Kirk was pleased Spock had not been alone it had surprised him that Scotty had turned up with the tea and a salad. "Are you saying that Mister Scott just arrived at my quarters with the salad and tea?"

There was a momentary look between the two. "Well, Captain,"

"No, Jim, I contacted him."

"You, Spock?"

"He only did so after I first checked if ye were there, Captain."

"Mister Scott made it clear he was alone before I spoke and when I answered he asked if he could give his report and if anything else was wanted. He arrived and I enjoyed the salad and tea and we have played basic chess while I have been told not only that the Engineering Division is maintaining its usual high standards and I have also been informed of what has taken place on the ship in my absence."

Inwardly Kirk smiled at the way they were defending and protecting one another as he had so often seen them do, "So, Mister Scott, you were the one to make the initial contact?"

"Aye, Sir. I knew Mister Spock would be with ye and that he would want a report as soon as he was awake. I was just seeing if he was ready for the report and he ye two would be wanting anything else."

"It was then that I asked for some Vulcan tea and a salad. We talked briefly about how Officer Winstone and I had shared accommodation for the last three weeks and how the only way I could return to the ship was as Winstone got me back."

"Aye, and how Winstone was not following McCoy's orders to just rest. Seems he took the opportunity to learn some unique self-defence moves down that even the Vulcans are unfamiliar with. Now there's one thing ye nae often hear, Vulcans learning something new from Humans."

"I can assure you, Mister Scott, the moves that Winstone showed me were the type of manoeuvres that only the mind of a very desperate Human would think of. There were not many ways to break or escape from the various holds without," Spock had looked directly at him and Kirk saw the pain about the eyes and he could tell from Spock not being specific about numbers just saying many that he was remembering more of what had taken place when he had been with Winstone, "causing some very serious and extensive damage to the opponent."

"Ahh, knowing the lad he would have tried many a way ta escape from them, he'd nae stop till he mastered them or he could nae move. McCoy said he will let me know when I can see the lad as he needs a great deal of time to recover from what he did down there. Said ye had approved his time off, Sir. I'm sure he'll appreciate that."

"I just came from seeing him and Doctor McCoy would not really let me talk with him saying Winstone needed time without visitors."

"Aye, that is what I understood from what McCoy said and from knowing Winstone. He'd not have rested down there if there was a chance ta learn something new." Scotty looked at Spock and smiled, "We will continue the game next time ye want some company, Sir. I'll have ta look up on that last move ye made. I need of a fair few matches afore I can give ye a good game."

"For a novice you play a good game and I look forward to completing the game at a later date, Mister Scott."

"Before you go, Scotty, I better tell you that we are going to make a brief stop at Biron Base Twenty-eight to give them supplies to ensure they have enough to last till their scheduled delivery in twenty standard days. Tillis said we will only be there for six hours."

"Aye, if he said that then we will only be there for six standard hours as the man is nae one who adds extra time to a ship's departure."

Kirk nodded as he had also heard the stories and read the reports of officers being left behind for being late back for beam-up. He did not mention that it was Cullen's idea as Scotty did not know of the man's involvement. "I'd best go make sure me bairns are ready as by then both of ye will be back on the bridge and I'll nae let you down."

Once Scotty had gone Kirk looked at Spock, "It seems it was Cullen who proposed we stop by. I can't say how but I have a feeling Tillis has been testing Cullen almost as though he suspects something but had no proof. I think when you are fit enough, rested enough, you make an appearance on the bridge. We'll wait till we have left Biron Base Twenty-eight."

Spock nodded, "A logical plan, Jim, as that way Cullen must remain on the ship. If memory serves Biron Base Twenty-eight is a a basic mining base where all the miners are there for a standard rotation and there are no females resident on the base. There is a great possibility he would chose to remain at the base should he know I am alive and well on the ship."

"I believe Tillis is planning something and I am going to let him deal with the whole stop at Biron Base. As it is just a supply delivery there is no need for me to be present. If McCoy allows it I will take you down to see Winstone. When they get back we will see Cullen's reaction to you being alive and on the ship."

"You implied you believe Commodore Tillis is aware."

"I can't be sure, Spock. There just is something about the way he's looked at Cullen and the way he looked at me plus what he said and the way he said it. I know it is not in the least logical but," Kirk smiled as he looked at his friend, "I feel certain he suspects something but is waiting for the right time to talk with me."

"How was Winstone when you last saw him?" It was still there in that baritone the concern and the self-blame. As he looked at his Vulcan friend Kirk was aware that Spock was trying to read him. On his way to his quarters after leaving Sickbay he had kept hearing McCoy saying Spock could not know how badly injured Winstone was as he would know that he had caused extensive and life-threatening damage. He had kept hearing those words McCoy had used "repeated and prolonged attacks" and "full-Vulcan mode" and realized he could not show that he was aware of the true extent of Winstone's injuries.

"McCoy was standing with him and looked like a mother-hen and told me that he would let me know when he knew more about the true extent of his injuries." Not once did he look away and saw how Spock kept looking at him. "Although he did not say so I think Winstone will need much longer in Sickbay."

"If McCoy did not say so, may I ask what you base that statement on?"

"He just looked like he was going to need a lot more rest, Spock. He looked so," so many words came to him as he looked at Spock, "tired and Bones was fussing as he usually does when a patient needs more rest."

"The good doctor does become rather overly protective when a patient needs more rest. Winstone could not receive better care." For a moment Spock was silent then looked directly at Kirk, "Jim, while I am most confident with McCoy's skills and his determination that Winstone will recover I do not believe McCoy is telling us the full truth as to his condition. I would like to see him as soon as we have dealt with Cullen."

For only an instant did Kirk think of protesting but he knew his friend had every right to see Winstone and hoped that McCoy would be better at making Spock accept all that had been done to Winstone. He also hoped that the Vulcan would understand why they had not been totally truthful with him. "Once we have dealt with Cullen I will go with you to see him." Kirk saw Spock's expression change and saw the unasked question and he quickly added, "I want to hear if what he tells you is different from what he has told me. He will be more direct with you while I am sure he is somewhat vague when he tells me how his patients are. Patient confidentiality, according to him."

Spock nodded, "Doctor McCoy is most protective of his patient's right of privacy be it with visitation or giving information to others about their condition. He is to be admired for that, although I agree it can be a most annoying tendency of his. Having read his research papers I have noted that even in them the patient's name or any way of fully identifying them is expertly handled."

"Does he know you've read his research papers?"

An eyebrow arched, "Doctor McCoy often gives me the great honour of proofreading his papers before he submits them as he does not want too much of his natural emotionalism to be seen in his writings."

Kirk nodded mainly for himself as it was yet another example of how these two so very different men were friends beneath that facade of hostility. "I believe we should be at Biron Base Twenty-eight in two days as I have a very annoying human feeling that Tillis wants to deal with whatever is bothering him as soon as possible."

"Interesting," Spock tilted his head, "May I ask exactly when you started to get such a feeling about Tillis?"

"Perhaps feeling is not the right word but I do not know what other word suits the sensation``," Kirk smiled, "It was when they first came aboard that I thought it rather unusual but Tillis said it was a trial of a new idea of Command and said I would be fully briefed after the mission." As he talked about it Kirk remembered thinking how unusual it had seemed at the time as he had heard nothing abut trialing a new idea. "Then watching Tillis interacting with Cullen after you went missing, the way he would watch Cullen as though studying him, was so very different if you watched the man. It was as though he was studying him, was looking for something."

"Do you suspect him to know of Winstone and his involvement with my return?"

"No, although I think he suspects something. McCoy told him earlier that Winstone had not fully recovered from the last incident but did not elaborate on which incident he meant and he told me Tillis did not ask him to clarify exactly what incident he was referring to although Cullen wanted to know. Also said that Tillis told Cullen there was no need to know, that had it been relevant they would have been told and that it most likely related to his earlier injuries."

For a moment Spock contemplated what Jim had just said with what he knew of Commodore Tillis's history and reputation. He had been raised in a very military family, his field of expertise was in what was termed interspecies relationships, and he was known to be a strict disciplinarian as well as one who did not tolerate any form of bigotry or species related prejudice. When he had been a captain it was known that while he allowed junior officers to learn as much as they could and was most helpful in the career development of his crews he would also have transferred off his ship any officer who showed any sign of prejudice or bigotry irrespective of the officer's rank or service record. It was well known that when he became a Commodore he was also given, by Command, special areas to investigate and suggest ways of improving them. It was known that since he had been promoted to that position many officers had been found to be carrying on criminal activities and while most were incarcerated in different penal institutions controlled by Command there were those whose crimes were such that Tillis had thought the victim, or victims, of the criminal's actions should decide the fate of the officer.

Very little was ever mentioned about the fate of the victims. Victims. For a moment Spock slightly lowered his head and closed his eyes. Winstone was by far more of a victim than he was. Winstone was a victim because of Cullen and because of his own actions. Logically he knew Jim and McCoy were right in that he was not himself because of the drugs and yet that other part of him, the Human emotional part, would not accept that he could not have stopped himself.

"And now we wait till after Bison Base Twenty-seven. You will stay in my quarters and I will bring meals,"

"There is no need for you to bring me meals, Jim, as Mister Scott has already said he would do that as well as engage in a chess game or two with me to, as he said, kill time." Spock looked at his friend, "I oddly find his grasp of chess and many of the moves he makes most interesting as they are mysteriously logical, while not often employed by either of us they are still within the confines of the rules to the game. I find having him as an opponent to fascinating and an enjoyable experience. I, I,"

When Spock looked away without saying more Kirk put a hand on his friend's arm,"What, Spock? Tell me."

"I am **not comfortable** letting Mister Scott believe that another inflicted the injuries to Winstone. While I did not lie to him I did not tell him the full truth and I have let him believe that another caused the damage I did." When Spock looked at him Kirk saw a hint of pain and fear about the dark eyes, "I did not say what I did. How will I be able to tell him the truth, Jim? How will I be able to tell him I did not mean to deceive him?"

"Don't you think after all this time Scotty would understand, Spock? Once he knows what happened do you really think he would blame you?" Kirk looked at his friend and squeezed his arm, "Do you think any of the command crew will blame you for what you did while drugged as you were?" he hesitated for a moment, "I doubt if any of the crew, once they know what happened, would blame you, Spock. While most might never have been drugged like you were many will most likely have been drunk, possibly even extremely drunk, at some stage in their life and done and said things they would not normally do. Don't crucify yourself, Spock. You know we will face whatever happens once this visit to Biron Base Twenty-seven is over with."

"Am I to assume, Captain, that it will take you at least thirty- two standard hours to formulate that which Humans call a fail-proof plan to expose Officer Cullen?"

Kirk was relieved to see the teasing up turn of his friend's lips, "You may assume that, First Officer, but I will need your assistance."

"You have always had and, Jim, you always will have my assistance even in those ventures that Doctor McCoy refers to as harebrained."

There was the slight buzz before "Tillis to Captain Kirk," came from the comm unit.

Kirk saw a raised eyebrow when he looked at Spock and Spock saw a momentary look of uncertainty on Kirk's face. "Kirk here, Sir."

"You are to report to the bridge in forty-nine standard hours to take command of the ship in my absence. I, along with the landing party, will be on Biron Base Twenty-seven for the six hours it will take to deliver supplies, verify the listing we have of their future requirements is correct, and attend to other matters. In the meantime I suggest you rest and be fully prepared to resume command of the Enterprise shortly after my return."

Jim Kirk looked at his Vulcan friend and saw a reflection of the curiosity he was feeling, but knew that a Vulcan would not admit to such an emotion, "I will report to you on the bridge in forty-nine standard hours, Sir."

"Good. Rest well. Tillis out."

"Most peculiar word choices, Jim."

"That's what I was thinking. It is like an itch I can't scratch. He has a reputation for being very direct and yet I feel as though he is not being direct with me, with us, and that bothers me."

"Too bothered to have a game of chess? I would welcome a slightly more logical opponent for a game."

"And I would enjoy being that slightly logical opponent for you. While we play we can also work out what we will do for forty-nine standard hours."

On the bridge it had surprised Uhura when Commodore Tillis had asked to speak with her in private and had looked at Cullen when he had started to follow them and said, "In private means just that. Mister Sulu has the Con till I return in no more than ten minutes."

In the briefing room he looked at her and she could see he saw her as an officer who just happened to be a woman and not a anything more. She had heard that about him, that he had always treated his male and female crew members the same.

"What I am about to tell you, Lieutenant, not even Captain Kirk knows but will be told upon our return from Biron-Base Twenty-eight. I am under the impression that Officer Cullen is behind Mister Spock's disappearance and up to six others. My role as a Commodore is a front while I am a Commodore by rank my role is to investigate the actions of certain officers that Command has doubts about their conduct. To gain the information that is needed they are given the role of being an aide to me on some fact-finding trip. While there is no proof to back up suspicions I have arranged to with the governing body on Biron Base Twenty-eight to most likely trap Cullen while he believes he is safe. Did you notice a momentary blip on your screen two days ago, a blip that would have lasted fifteen seconds?"

Uhura had noticed it and done a thorough check of her board and system but it had been too short and on a broad band as had, perhaps five seconds later, a second blip.

"That was me confirming our stop-over at Biron Base Twenty-eight."

Uhura nodded thinking that that was all they were to discuss and understood why he had wanted to talk with her in private. She had talked with Sulu and Chekov while they had their meals about the strange working relationship between Tillis and Cullen with Chekov thinking Cullen too willing to help and work alone to be trusted and Sulu had commented how Tillis seemed to watch Cullen as though he was prey. She had seen how he had all but put the idea of stopping at Biron Base Twenty-seven in Cullen's mind. Tillis had looked at her when she had done her hair in a slightly different style and had said, "I am sure when the Enterprise stops at mining bases Captain Kirk makes sure you are very well guarded." before glancing at Cullen then back at her. It was only now that she remembered how unsettled that look Cullen had given her had made her feel.

"Do," for a moment she debated whether to ask the question that screamed in her brain as she knew of the Achimeraian way of thinking nothing of treating off-worlders who broke even the minutest law or were of a different physical appearance as little more than slaves. "Do you think he **could possibly have had anything** to do with Mister Spock disappearing?"

* * *

A/N I am now sure I am growing webbing between my toes as we have had unusually mild temperatures but consonant rain for over a week and no relief in the forecast.

Thanks for reading. **Take care** and **have fun**.


	5. Chapter 5

As she watched Tillis looking at her Uhura was aware of the delay in his answering her question and saw something she did not fully comprehend in the way he was looking at her. It seemed as though he wanted to tell her something yet was not sure himself as to what to say. Finally he nodded, "That, Lieutenant Uhura, is what **you** **and** **I** are going to find out when we go to Biron Base Twenty-seven."

" **We?** **You and I**?" Even as she said the words Uhura was still trying to figure out what the odd look she had seen on Tillis's face could possibly have meant.

"If what I believe is correct Officer Cullen will find some reason for you to come with us to the base. It may surprise the others on the bridge, especially Officers Sulu and Chekov, but you will accept. Once we get to the base I expect we will discover if he was in any way involved in the disappearance of Miser Spock an," the way Tillis suddenly stopped made Uhura really look at him. She had been sure he was about the say and, but and what? She knew that Biron Base Twenty-seven was a mining planet.

"Lieutenant Uhura, I have arranged your protection on the Base from the moment you are beamed down till we beam back. Officer Cullen will believe you are alone with him but you will be watched at all times. You will not be at risk from the men on Bison Base Twenty-seven as, while it is largely a mining base, there are over two hundred families there and once every six months the single men are given a month off base. From my discussions with Officer Cullen it is clear that **he believes there are no women** at the base."

In the momentary silence Uhura fully grasped what he was not saying about the mission. "Has Captain Kirk given,"

"Captain Kirk and I are both in agreement about finding out who is behind what happened to Mister Spock and the parties involved. I was given this mission and while I could order you to do this I feel it best to ask and to explain what can be expected."

There was silence for about five minutes as they just looked at each other. Uhura knew he could, as he said, order her. She also knew that if this helped find out what did happen to Spock and who was behind it she would do whatever she could to help it as she remembered the times he had risked so much for her, as well as for others on the ship. She just secretly hoped she found out who had harmed Spock before Tillis did, even though she knew she would most likely end up on charges if she did.

"Just tell me when you need me. My two relief officers ready always ready."

"That is one thing that Captain Kirk is noted for, the way his entire crew seems to be at the ready to take action even when off duty. It is little wonder that this is known as the best ship in the fleet with the best crew." Tillis had nodded, "At our present speed we will be arriving at Biron Base Twenty-seven in forty-five hours. This is not to be discussed with any of the crew. If what I believe is correct I will inform the entire crew upon our return. If I am incorrect I will inform those immediately impacted upon by these actions."

"Understood, Sir." She started to go to the door then stopped, turned and looked at him, "Commodore, am I to believe this ends our discussion on how improvements last made to the communications system by myself and Mister Spock increased the capabilities of the station by two point one eight per cent?"

Her action and question momentarily surprised him as she had assumed the meeting was over and had not asked to be dismissed. He nodded as he had read in the reports that Kirk had shown him that there had been that small increase. He had also observed how while the others on the bridge were good at talking openly in their own code he did not fully understand what was being said. It took him a moment to realize, from what she has just said, that she was letting him know what she would tell the others their meeting had been about. Kirk did have a damned good crew. "Yes, it does. Thank you, Lieutenant."

After Lieutenant Uhura had left he sat for a few minutes. There was something odd. Well, it was more like just an unusual feeling that something was not quite right in how Kirk was reacting to the loss of such a vital member of his crew as his First Officer. He was not reacting as he had seen other captains react to the loss of such a vital officer, of such a close friend. Perhaps he was suffering some form of professional burn-out. He was something he had often seen but had not expected to see it in Kirk.

For a few minutes he closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair as he thought over what he had seen in Kirk. He had seen for himself that there was something special in what they, Kirk and his First Officer, had, something that did not match up with how Kirk was acting now. Something to do with when he had come back from getting Officer Winstone back to the ship. He had seen, when he first had come aboard the Enerprise for this mission, how Kirk was with Mister Spock, had seen that dynamic team that so many envied, had seen how they were the other half of each other. He had seen how Kirk had been when informed that they had to leave Spock on the planet, had seen how all that had been walking around in that captain's uniform had been a faint shadow of the man he had been in awe of only days before. Before there had been an enlivened man, a confident man, a man who joked with his crew, a man smiled often, and a man so many envied. Since leaving the planet without Mister Spock he had not seen that. What he had seen was an emotionally damaged, depressed man, a man who seemed uncertain at times, a serious man, and a man to be pitied.

Slowly Tillis shook his head. No. Now there had been the subtlest of changes to Kirk as though during that short stop to collect Officer Winstone he had come to terms with such a great loss. Although he could not exactly pinpoint what it was he knew there had been a change and yet deep inside himself he knew it was not to do with a loss or even the acceptance of a loss. It was something else. At first he had thought it could have been related to Officer Winstone not having fully recovered but Doctor McCoy had said that Kirk had accepted that Winstone had simply greatly over-done the physical therapy he had been told to do while on recovery leave. McCoy had told him that Winstone would need time in Sickbay to ensure that he complied with medical orders, and that it was not the first time Winstone had tried to quicken his recovery time only to worsen it.

There had also been that total change in the atmosphere on the bridge. Oh, it was still clearly one of the Fleet's best but there was not the feeling there had been when he had come aboard, when Mister Spock was there. There had been the lighthearted banter, that friendly baritone voice explaining a more logical way of doing something, the easy flow of efficiency. After the loss of Mister Spock it was very subdued, very official, very boring. While there was no disputing that Mister Spock had trained his relief officers very well and very thoroughly the total change in the atmosphere on the bridge, and around the ship, was different. It was well known at Command and throughout the fleet that this was not a crew, that this was a family and the family was sorely missing one member. He had seen how every so often one of the officers on the bridge would momentarily forget and turn to look at the Science Station, he had noticed how Kirk had refused to even look in that direction when he spoke to the Science Officer.

When Kirk had last come onto the bridge he had nodded to the crew individually and seemed to be gradually accepting what had happened. It was almost like he had, by going down to escort Officer Winstone back to the ship, accepted the loss. **Almost**. He did not know what it was about Kirk's demeanor but it most definitely had changed.

For now he would put that aside as he had to go over his plans for Biron Base Twenty-seven. He had to concentrate on the mission. What had happened to Mister Spock seemed to be just another "unfortunate accident" where Cullen had been present. Too many "unfortunate accidents" that seemed to only happen to the non-Human crew with unique features. He had arranged with the ruling officials on Biron Base Twenty-seven to be of assistance at the start of the mission and advised his contacts there that a beautiful dark skinned Human female was the bait and that he would ensure that there were extra supplies that would be dropped off with their usual supplies as well as a few from the Enterprise.

When they arrived he knew he wanted to speak with their governing board as he had heard the hesitation when he had contacted the governing body at the Base and said that his aide Officer Brent Cullen would beam down with the bait and list of supplies. He had heard the disgust in the voice that said, "This Officer Brent Cullen is not your usual aide, is he?"

"No, he is an officer under observation at the moment."

"We will be pleased to keep this Officer Brent Cullen under full observation, Commodore Tillis. No harm will come to the bait. We are all most keen to meet this Officer Brent Cullen although he may not be so keen to meet with us if **it** proves to be what we think **it** is. Biron Base Twenty-seven out."

There had been something there as well. Something about the way they said "it". He had checked Cullen's records and he had not been there before. There was only one Brent Cullen in Starfleet. If he had not been there then how would they know him and what had he done to cause that reaction? What was possibly not on his records? What was he hiding?

 **Hiding?** If what he suspected was proven to be true while they were still on the Enterprise Tillis was sure that he would be kept in his quarters so that the crew could all swear he was not present at what would happen to Cullen. While he had seen how dedicated the crew was to the Federation he also knew that there are those things that outweigh the dedication to such ideals and he knew there would be no mercy shown if Cullen were found to be responsible for the loss of Mister Spock. He knew there would be over four hundred witnesses who never saw or heard anything out of the ordinary.

Despite the seriousness of it he smiled as he wondered which of the crew would be the first to mete out punishment? He knew that if what he, as well as several others at Command and in the Fleet, believed was proven to be true he would be tempted to be a part of whatever happened. As he thought of his discussion with Lieutenant Uhura he recalled the look about her eyes when she had asked if he thought Cullen " ** _could possibly have had anything to do with Mister Spock disappearing"_** and knew who he was sure would be first in line to let Cullen know what she thought of him and he would not want to be one to try to remove her.

By the way Sulu and Chekov looked at her when she walked back to her station Uhura knew they were curious. It was also obvious from the way Officer Cullen was also looking at her that he was **very** curious as to what was said. Ignoring Cullen she looked at Sulu and Chekov, "We have just talked about the improvements last made to the communications system by myself and Mister Spock that increased the capabilities of the station by two point one eight per cent." At first she ignored Cullen and just looked at her two friends and saw them slowly understand and accept that she would tell them later.

"Lieutenant Uhura" Cullen's annoyance was clear in his voice, "I am sure that Commodore Tillis would expect you to inform me about what you discussed."

Calmly Uhura looked from Sulu and Chekov to Cullen, "As I just informed the others we discussed the different improvements last made to the communications system by myself and Mister Spock that increased the capabilities of the station by two point one eight per cent. Now if you fully understand the basics of the system I will be only too pleased to explain it to you as well. Do you have even an elementary level six understanding of the full auditory ranges as well as the vocal ranges?"

"Well no but,"

"Without even that most elementary understanding it is pointless to discuss exactly what was said."

"I imagine that both of them." he pointed at Sulu and Chekov, "have that understanding?"

"Of course they do, as there have been occasions when they have had to man the station and Mister Spock ensured they had at least an intermediate level nine understanding of the two ranges. H e insisted that the Captain get a refresher course to senior level five." she smiled as the memory of that came back to her along with another major memory, "Both he and the Captain insured I got the necessary training and the experience to intermediate level six on both the helm and navigation stations." It still hurt to talk about Mister Spock without remembering their last conversation but she knew he would expect her to carry on, to do her duty.

She glanced at Sulu and Chekov and remembered how they had talked that first night after Mister Spock went missing, talked and drank some of the liquor Scotty had brought them while McCoy took care of the Captain. She remembered how they had all had that feeling that Mister Spock would somehow return to the ship. They had not talked of it since but she still believed it although she knew it was illogical. She had seen how Sulu would occasionally look over at the Science Station as though expecting to see him there and then sadly nod. Chekov had taken a great deal of persuasion to get him to man the science station for a short time and he had refused to sit but stood for the six hours.

Perhaps after the stop at Biron Base Twenty-seven they would know more, would know what had happened. As she settled in her chair by her station she nodded as she gave Cullen one last look. If he was in any way involved with the disappearance of Spock the others would find little of him left by the time she had finished with him. No. They would find nothing of him as she knew that Captain Kirk would get to him first and only Mister Spock had been able to stop him from such actions by using one word or the lightest of physical contact. The one thing she knew at that moment was that if it was found that Cullen had anything to do with what happened to Spock he would not leave the Enterprise alive She nodded to herself, not only would he not leave the Enterprise alive but there would be no trace of him or his body on the ship and there would be over four hundred crew members who would swear they saw nothing and heard nothing.

Only as she turned to face her station did she smile as she heard how Tillis had said " _Officer Cullen will believe you are alone with him but you will be watched at all time_ s". If only Tillis knew that whenever she, or any of the other female officers, was off the ship they were being watched by at least one male officer even if not in an obvious manner. Often it was difficult to spot the fellow crew member but it was a well known thing that they kept their eyes on one another, be they male or female. So many times she had heard the crew of the Enterprise being called an extended family and she realized that, especially among the bridge crew and more senior officers, that it did feel and seem that way. She had heard the younger crew say that newcomers were not all that much of the family for the first year. not till they had shown they really fitted in with the other family members.

Sulu had watched Uhura return to the bridge and seen how she had looked at Cullen. Only a blind person with no other sensory awareness would not have been aware of the pure distrust bordering on a deep loathing hatred in the look she had given Cullen. Whatever Tillis had talked with her about obviously was to do with Cullen and most likely to do with whatever had happened to Spock and she had let him and Chekov know it right in front of Cullen. She had also let them know that they would know in two days. He did not know about the others but he knew if he found out that Cullen had anything to do with Spock's disappearance the man would learn just how skilled he was with an antique Japanese sword and cooking small cubed pieces of fresh meat on a hibachi.

While Chekov had understood what Uhura had told them he just looked at Cullen not caring if his contempt for the man showed or not. In Uhura's words he had heard confirmation of what he had believed since Miser Spock had not returned. He knew, as all of them did when they enlisted in Starfleet, that there would come a time then an officer would not come back from a mission but not like this. This was not how it should be. Not on some hardly known planet where a fellow officer was being left just to fully rest well away from anything that might tempt them back to work. Not without them there to see him safely from this life to whatever lays beyond it. Not to be left with no friends to be with him and care. If he found out that Cullen was in any way responsible for whatever happened to Mister Spock then even the Keptin would not stop him from seeing the Cullen died a death far worse than anything even the worst Cossack deserved.

Commodre Tillis walked back onto the Bridge and just stood behind the central chair, lightly touching the back of it, "Helm, plot and initiate a course to Biron Base Twenty-seven at warp six point nine five. Estimated time till arrival?"

"At warp six point nine five we should arrive at Biron Base Twenty-seven in," Sulu quickly double checked his calculations, "twenty-one standard hours, Sir."

"Good, thank you. You have to Conn, Officer Sulu. I will be in the quarters allocated to me for twelve hours and then will have a check up with Doctor McCoy before a briefing with Captain Kirk and the landing party. Officer Cullen will be in the quarters allocated to him until he attends the briefing regarding the landing party and duties on Biron Base Twenty-seven. We will be on Biron Base Twenty-seen for six hours and then leave to return to Command at ward eight. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good, thank you, Officer Sulu. Officer Cullen, you will **remain in your quarters** till you are summoned, understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good." With that Tillis turned and walk out followed five minutes later by Cullen who had spent those few minutes first looking around the bridge and then looking at Uhura before leaving.

Down in Engineering Scotty was getting antsy. He knew that McCoy would be helping Winstone and that the Captain was with Spock yet he felt so helpless. All he could do was make sure his bairns were ready to give what they could when the Captain gave the word. Sulu had let him know that Commodore Tillis had asked for warp six point nine five to Biron Base Twenty-seven then warp eight so obviously the man was keen to be done with this. The Commodore struck him as a fair and honest man but that aide of his, that Cullen creature, was a different matter. He did nae like the way he looked at Uhura and he had nae been as injured in the reported attack as the Commodore who he was meant to protect and serve. If Cullen did anything to Uhura and was a part of whatever happened to Spock he would use the man to see if a theory he had heard years ago that it takes a human being about fourteen days to die a thousand deaths before being allowed to die was true. He had the right place to do it and could easily incorporate it with his duties. Cullen would not be found just as Spock had not been found. Deep in the recesses of his mind he recalled a fellow engineer at a conference saying it takes the human about fifteen minutes in an air tight chamber to suffocate just to the point of unconsciousness and has five minutes of revival and awareness before being suffocated again. He felt himself smile as he could almost her that baritone voice saying, " _Mister Scott your calculations are wrong as it would be thirteen point eight eight eight repeating days, not fourteen_." Aye, if he found out Cullen played any part in whatever happened to Spock and did anything to Uhura the man would just disappear.

In his quarters Kirk answered the buzz from Doctor McCoy and momentarily looked at Spock, "Doctor McCoy is going to allow you to see that he has Winstone fully monitored and to see for yourself how he is. Officer Donaldson will be moving the recorder so that McCoy can lift the sheet should you really want to see the,"

"Thank you, Doctor McCoy. It is most kind of you to allow this. I am interested as to his status and what damage was done to him."

"With this visual scan of his registers and then him you can see he has suffered a prolonged assault that caused repeated injured layers of both muscle and tissue as well as substantial damage to his digestive, urinary, nervous and circulatory systems. He has several broken and shattered bones, dislocated joints, and, as you see, there does not appear to be any part of his body," McCoy suddenly stopped. " **Now you stop that right now, Spock**!"

Kirk turned to look at his friend and stopped. He tried to remember when he had ever seen Spock as he was. Sitting ramrod straight as usual but he had his eyes closed, was shaking his head, biting his bottom lip, and he saw what McCoy could not see, the way their Vulcan friend had both his hands balled into shaking tight fists. Cautiously he reached out and placed a hand briefly on Spock's shoulder and was stunned by the trembling he felt in the muscles and how he heard Spock softly talking to himself, in Vulcan and Standard.

* * *

 **A/N** Thanks for reading. Take care and HAVE FUN!


	6. Chapter 6

"You take care of him, Jim. I'll be right there."

"Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry. Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry. Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry."

Kirk didn't see how McCoy just grabbed two items and dashed from view as he was watching how Spock seemed totally shaken by what he had seen. He had thought that if Spock saw how well Winstone was being cared for he would relax more. He cursed himself for not thinking of how Spock would find a way to blame himself for how Winstone was.

Cautiously he lightly tightened his hand on Spock's shoulder, "It is **not your fault** , Spock. It was his decision. It was his choice. You have nothing to be sorry for. You were drugged. You are not to blame. You,"

" **I** **did** **that** **to** **him**. Jim, I, and I alone, did that to him. He was trying to help me and I did that to him."

"Spock, you,"

Kirk was not sure what the Vulcan version of a personal hell would be but he knew he had seen into it when Spock had opened his eyes and looked at him. He instinctively gripped Spock's shoulder tighter not knowing what else to do. Clearly Spock was remembering more about the time Winstone was caring for him, more about what he had done to Winstone, more that he had not spoken about. Clearly whatever he had seen, as McCoy had talked while they viewed how Winstosne was, had sparked some memories, had mentally taken Spock back to relive what had taken place, what he had done.

"Jim, I did that to him. He was trying to help me and I did that to him. I alone did that to him. I kept doing damage to him. I did that to him. I did that to him. He was saving my life and **I** **did** **that** **to** **him**. " The dark eyes were still revealing the hell his friend was in when Spock closed his eyes and started repeating, "Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry. Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry." Kirk felt the stiff shoulder tremble under his hand as his Vulcan friend fought to gain control of those emotions he proclaimed he did not have.

Kirk fully realized just how deep in his own version of hell Spock was when he did not react to the opening of the door to Kirk's cabin nor McCoy starting "What the," before suddenly stopping, loading a hypo, and quickly pushing it against a stiff arm.

After helping Kirk put the unconscious Vulcan on the bed McCoy looked at his friend and saw the confusion and guilt on his face. "I left Frakes, an emergency tech, with Winstone." the whirr of the scanner filled the brief silence before McCoy nodded, "He will sleep for at least three hours then wake up and lecture me about not needing medication to sleep. Now," McCoy turned his attention to Kirk, "want to tell me what he was saying?"

"He blames himself for what he did to Winstone. I don't think he remembered all the details about what happened until he saw how you have Winstone."

Although he was talking to McCoy Kirk kept looking at Spock, "Seeing Winstone like that brought things back to him that he might not have fully remembered. What he told me had happened was so very violent and out of character yet understandable as he was so drugged and not in his right mind. If what he did to Winstone while drugged was worse than what he told me then he is in the hell I saw in his eyes and I understand why he was asking for forgiveness. He just will not accept that it was not his fault."

"Jim, about the drugs," McCoy started hesitantly as he was not sure how he was going to tell Kirk what he had to tell him.

"You told me they were strong drugs, Bones. You told me how they reacted when used in combination. You said in the concentration,"

"I know, Jim. I know what I said then but at the time I had not been able to all that **thoroughly analyze the quality and therefore the strength** of the drugs they used on him." in the hazel eyes that looked at him McCoy saw understanding and acceptance of what he had said, "Then add to those findings the fact that he has the Human elements as well as Vulcan ones."

A chill seemed to possess Kirk as the words registered, as he realized what McCoy was not saying, as he realized how heavy with guilt his friend's voice was, "Bones?"

As was an unconscious habit of his at such times, McCoy rocked slightly on his heels, pursed his lips, and cleared his throat. "We have to be prepared for when Spock is ready to confront what happened, Jim. Spock is going to really need your support and help if and when he remembers and realizes all of what he did to Winstone, Jim. He may even need my support to accept that all the damage was not his fault."

"He knows he has seriously injured Winstone, Bones. He," Kirk stopped, it was in the blue eyes, the knowing of an unspoken truth. For a moment he had seen that same look in Spock's eyes when he had first really looked at Winstone, when the memories had fallen into place. "What?"

McCoy glanced at the sleeping Vulcan and then back at Kirk, "Not here and not now, Jim. Just let me know when he wakes up and I'll come in case I am needed. We do have to get him to accept that none his attacking Winstone was his fault, that those drugs caused him to act as he did."

"Would they affect other Vulcans,"

"No, Jim, they would not affect other Vulcans the way they did Spock as Spock has Human elements plus the quantity of them that he was given over a short period of time. Plus," McCoy calmed himself when he saw how Kirk looked at him after a brief silence, "both the drugs were of a **higher potency** and a **better quality** than is usually available."

It was there on Kirk's face as McCoy studied his friend. The dawning realization that the drugs were of a quality that would not be that common, not readily available, on the planet. Drugs of the quality that Spock had been given were usually blended with a substance that would make the drug be just slightly more effective than a common placebo. The base elements of both were rare and to be found in that quality and purity meant whoever had it had either great wealth or access to them.

"Now before you rant and rage, Jim, we best just wait a spell."

"Bones," Kirk started but McCoy held up his hand.

"As soon as I got that final analysis I asked Scotty to run full scans of the last six times we transported Cullen off this ship and," McCoy started right at him, "when Officer Palmer Bannet stopped by to see how Winstone was I might have mentioned to him that a surface scan of the quarters that Cullen might reveal what was causing Winstone's breathing difficulty as he returned about two hours later with the two medical scanners I had seen him take. He said it was just a surface scan done while Cullen was out so he would not know. I am waiting for the results of both scans."

It took Kirk a few seconds to remember who Palmer Bannet was and smiled when he remembered he was a security officer who also helped in the various science departments. He remembered often seeing him joking and sparring with Winstone and Spock saying how tenacious the man was about researching the smallest of details and finding even the smallest of samples.

" **If** what I think you are looking for, Bones, is there I want to see Cullen on my own first."

"Jim," McCoy reached out and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, " **if** what I am looking for is found and known about by various members of the crew, I highly doubt if either of us will see any more of Cullen apart from almost microscopic parts of him in a hazardous waste disposal unit."

Despite himself Kirk smiled and nodded his head, knowing there were those in the crew who would take such action because of what was done to Spock, some because of what was done to Winstone because of Cullen, and the rest because of what was done to one of their "family". He knew that if there was any proof of Cullen being involved and of him having had the drugs aboard the ship for use on Spock that somebody on the crew would have to get to Cullen before he did. Deep at his core he knew what he would do and also knew it was something that Spock would be appalled by.

"I best get back to Winstone."

"How is,"

"He's still with us, Jim. As long as he is fighting to stay with us I should be there. I cannot do anything else for him but be there. It is his fight." McCoy walked over to the bed and waved the scanner over the sleeping Vulcan, before nodding, "All his readings are within the normal range for him now. Whatever Winstone did saved him mentally and physically. He just needs to rest, Jim. He needs to rest and not be around Winstone, **yet**. I'm relying on you to keep him away from Winstone. I will let you both know when he can see him again and in person."

After McCoy had gone Kirk sat at his desk and realized that they would be at Biron Base Twenty-seven sooner than he had thought and knew that Tillis was most likely anxious to be done with whatever his true mission on this trip was. It still seemed odd to him that they had to go to Biron Base Twenty-seven but he had seen his orders and knew that if he pushed too much Tillis could relieve him of command. In a small corner of his mind he found he still wondered what Tillis was really on his ship for. With so many ships he could had asked for, why the Enterprise, why did he need or want the Enterprise? Was what happened to Spock a part of his plan or was it unrelated? And those looks he had seen him give Cullen, what were they about? Tillis only looked at him in that uncertain way when Cullen was not looking, that not too obvious way of questioning himself about the man. He looked at the screen and saw they were to return directly to Command at warp seven. Clearly their original orders had been altered and no doubt by Tillis.

Almost before Spock stopped moving Kirk was by the bed but relaxed when he saw that his friend had just changed his positionon the bed in his sleep. From what McCoy had said and how Spock had reacted he realized that there had clearly been more damage done to Winstone than he had either been aware of or that he let himself acknowledge. More severe damage. " _When he remembers and realizes all of what he did to Winstone._ " It was that unknown " _all of what he did_ " that bothered Kirk as he knew, as McCoy did, how Spock would see it as a personal failing and his own fault. Satisfied that Spock had not awoken he returned to his desk.

Although he had looked at Winstone's records several times when he had first returned with Spock, Kirk knew there was **something** he was missing on the man's records. From what Scotty had hinted at, but not openly stated, he knew there had to be **something** on Winstone's records that he had not noticed before. There had to be a time when " _he'd nae stop till he mastered them or he could nae move_ ". Served under Pike, different commendations and awards that could easily have got him a nice position at Command or on any base but he wanted to be a Security Officer with " _some science knowledge_ " on the Enterprise. Pike had made several very positive comments over a four year period: the most common being " _as usual Vern finished what he started_.". There was one small sentence between the period he served under Pike and the time he served under him. One very short sentence. Incident Pike to Kirk security clearance needed.

Incident? There was **no incident**. He had taken command from Pike. There had been a drill, a drill Command had said was to show him how well the crew reacted, when he had been aboard for a day with Pike to get familiar with the basics of the ship. They told him it was part of the familiarization. No, there was no incident, or was there **something** Command and Pike had not told him? Damn! It was so much more than simply annoying when he had these mental itches he could not easily scratch.

Kirk looked at who Tillis had rostered on for the duration of his being on the bridge while he and Cullen were on Biron Base Twenty-seven and he was momentarily and mildly surprised when he saw that it was not the Alpha shift. Obviously Sulu, Uhura,, and Chekov had helped him with the roster as it was not a normal shift but a collection from the other shifts plus a few officers he knew both Sulu and Uhura had told him showed real interest in learning more. He nodded, they knew how he would find ways of testing them while they maintained an orbit. Those three and Scotty were very good at helping hone the skills of the younger crew and that it had been something both he and Spock had encouraged them to do.

He crossed his arms on the desk and put his head down for a moment as he thought of what to do next. He thought of contacting Uhura, Sulu and Chekov to make sure they would rest during the time they were waiting. He had seen how hard they had taken the initial loss of Spock and had a feeling that when they knew that Spock was alive they would be thrilled. He also had a feeling that as soon as they heard what had happened to Spock there would be no place on the ship that Cullen could hide. No, possibly no place in the known Federation where Cullen could hide when the crew knew. He just needed to think of what to do next.

"Jim," a hand resting on his shoulder woke him and he looked up to see Spock standing beside him, "I, I must apologize to you and to Doctor McCoy for," slowly Kirk stood and took Spock back over to the bed where they both sat down, "I do not require any more rest, Jim. I wish to apologize for,"

"You have nothing to apologize for, Spock. You should know by now that we know you and you know us too well for apologizing for those idiosyncracies that make us who we are."

"Granted, but I should have been able to,"

"You were drugged, it was out of your control."

"How is Vern Winstone?"

The use of Winstone's given name made Kirk pause for a moment then nodded, in a way Spock was being Human although he would possibly never admit to it. "He's still with McCoy."

"Who was with him when McCoy was here?"

"You know McCoy was here?"

"I am all too familiar, Jim, with the residual effects of the good doctor's ministrations." For the first time in a long time Kirk saw the echo of a smile about Spock's eyes and heard it in his voice.

"He said he left Frakes, an emergency tech, with Winstone."

"He is highly skilled, he would not know nor ask what caused the damage to Winstone, yet would watch the monitors and get McCoy if needed." For a moment Kirk saw Spock close his eyes as he said again, " **The monitors**."

"You have to know he is in the best of hands, Spock."

Again that personal hell that Kirk had seen before was in his friend's eyes when Spock looked at him, "I know that, Jim. I also know now all that I did to him with **my own hands**. I saw on those monitors a true indictment of what I did to him with **my own hands**. He was sent there to rest as part of his recovery after saving Sulu, Mister Scott, and myself from serious injury. He was saving me and **I beat him** like that. I beat him while in full male Vulcan mode. I repeatedly and savagely beat him and somehow he managed to get me home to the Enterprise before his body fully yielded to what I did to him with my bare hands. If he dies I will have killed him with **my bare hands**. I, I,"

Apart from guilt Kirk also saw traces of tiredness about his friend's eyes and lightly touched his arm, "It wasn't you, Spock. It was the drugs. He would know it was not you but the drugs."

"It **was not** the drugs that beat him. It was not the drugs that threw him against the wall. It wasn't the drugs that, that, that," Spock shook his head and closed his eyes as he tightened his fists before repeating, "Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry. Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry."

Seldom had Kirk felt so helpless as he sat beside his friend with a hand on his shoulder, knowing that somehow Spock had to deal with those demons the drugs had left him with. He swore that if it was proven Cullen was behind what had happened to Spock the man would more than just beg for death before he finished with him. Killing the man would be too kind, too humane for what he had done to Spock. For now, till he was needed on the bridge, he would sit here with Spock, be with him for should he want to talk. As he listened to Spock repeating, "Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry. Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry." he wondered how often Spock talked to himself like this, allowing his two sides to be acknowledged like this, not to allow his emotions an outlet.

Time had no real meaning as Kirk got Spock to sleep and then sat in his chair watching him for some time before allowing himself to lightly doze till his inner alarm roused him. When he looked at his bed he saw Spock was awake and watching him.

"You have time to freshen up and get to the bridge, Jim. If I am not in error you are to remain on the ship while Cullen and Tillis attend to the delivery of extra supplies."

Before he asked Spock continued, "I will remain in your quarters until your return or until you contact me. We both know that only you, McCoy, and Mister Scott know I am alive and aboard the ship. I trust the three of you to have worked out some plan and it goes without saying that I trust your judgement and decision."

Kirk nodded, "I am sure McCoy will let you see Winstone as soon as this matter is dealt with."

"Will he allow me to see Winstone **on my own** , Jim?"

For just a moment Kirk was going to comment on what an idiotic question to ask as Bones would naturally let him see Winstone on his own but then Kirk stopped and really looked at Spock, remembering how he had been, what he had said, "You know how protective he is of his patients, Spock, but I am sure we can ask him."

"Captain, while you are on the bridge I will, with your permission, use your computer to review what has taken place aboard the ship during my absence."

Kirk smiled to himself as he realized Spock was getting back into his First Officer cum Science Officer mode. "Permission granted, Mister Spock."

When he walked onto the bridge Kirk paused for a moment as he looked around. He had to admit it was an unusual feeling to see none of the familiar faces there. Usually when Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov had other officers getting more experience at their stations they would be lurking around. It had been clear when he had read who would be their reliefs that the three of them knew he would test them to ensure they knew what they were doing. They also knew that he would need that distraction for the six hours they had to orbit Biron Base Twenty-seven.

"Ahhhh, slightly ahead of time, Kirk. Good. You are to maintain standard orbit for six hours." Tillis stood and stepped away from the chair and only then did Kirk fully realize Cullen was not on the bridge. "When we return we will have a full debriefing with all senior officers. The ship is your."

As Tillis got into the turbolift Kirk wondered exactly where the hell Cullen was.

* * *

A/N Thanks for reading. Winter is slowly arriving so perhaps it is time for me to do my belated "spring cleaning". . . . Just need the rain to stop and the wind to ease to a mild gale. Enjoy and **have fun**.


	7. Chapter 7

Uhura knew exactly where Cullen was. When she had gone back to her position on the bridge after talking with Tillis she had been pleased that Sulu and Chekov had understood what she said. What she had not really expected were the looks they had given her when Cullen had asked if she would like to help him go down and get the site ready for the delivery and distribution of the supplies they were leaving and she had said, "If the Commodore thinks it the best use of my time, then yes."

Tillis had looked at her and she had seen the silent acknowledgment that she had let him fulfill the role they had discussed. "That would be a good idea. Should there be any communication misunderstandings I am sure Lieutenant Uhua will be able to help. I also know that the Lieutenant will be able to give me a different point of view of the events and situation on Biron Base Twenty-seven."

When both Sulu and Chekov had slightly moved in ways she knew indicated they were about to speak she looked at them, then at Tillis, "If I may I would suggest that both Sulu and Chekov go to their quarters and rest while they have two of the more junior crew get more experience at their stations as we will be in a standard orbit and that I select an officer who needs more experience to be at my station. If I am correct Captain Kirk will have the chair and can both train and supervise them."

Tillis showed no real surprise and inwardly relaxed as he knew she was telling Sulu and Chekov that she was fully aware of what she was doing. He had heard so often about what a great crew Kirk had and he had been witness to it. This was another example of how he managed to have such a crew, the senior officers were not afraid to help the junior officers learn, were keen to help them get experienced in a relaxed yet real situation. He had been on ships where the senior officers seemed to be overly protective and possessive of their positions and roles on the ship.

Although he was not aware, at first, Tillis realized he had been nodding as he saw how easily the Lieutenant had been able to not only make Sulu and Chekov relax but also let him know she was ready. "Those are good suggestions, Lieutenant. It is a very good idea for both Officer Sulu and Officer Chekov to be rested for the trip back to Command. No doubt the three of you know which officers will take you places so I suggest you contact them and do the hand-over then you and Officer Cullen can go down to the base."

It had not taken the three of them long to get the officers they wanted to man their stations and have them ready for the handover. Uhura had noticed how Chekov and Sulu had been watching her going over the latest readings and what was expected. Both her friends were clearly not pleased about what was happening yet their slight nods when she looked at them let her know that they also knew she had very clearly thought it through and knew what she was doing. Like them she was aware of how Cullen was watching her and glanced four times at Tillis to see him also watching Cullen with a look she was not sure of. It was almost like a hunter watching its prey and also like a man looking at something with barely concealed disgust. If she found out that Cullen had anything to do with Spock's disappearance she would show Tillis what it was like for the prey to be caught by a hellcat.

 _Hellcat_. She paused for a moment and smiled as she remembered the only person who had really called her that in public and knew she would visit him when she got back to the ship. Vern Winstone had called her that when she had been first refused to be allowed to learn a dance and song related to fighting on Tangora. She had been told she lacked the spirit and determination of the fighter who sings as they to battle and he had said, "Lieutenant Uhura is a very fine woman and lady but she is also one helluva hellcat when it comes to both singing and fighting. She has been more battle tested than your men and perhaps that it is - you are afraid she will show up their weaknesses." In her quarters, in the drawer of her mementos, she knew was the small knife she had been given that made her an alpha warrior of the Tangora indigenous people. Doctor McCoy had told her that he was in isolation till whatever he had contracted while he was meant to rest and recover had run its course and he was fit enough to have visitors . It was so like Vern, no doubt he had either gone into a wilderness area and contracted something or had taken part in an activity that had worsened his existing condition.

Just before she left the bridge Uhura looked at Tillis, "I will give you a full report when I return, Sir."

"That would be appreciated, Lieutenant Uhura. I do not expect the mission to take no more than six standard hours."

Six hours. Uhura gave a slight nod. Clearly Tillis had told those who would be watching her the same. She wondered of those six hours how many she would have to tolerate being with Cullen. As she stepped into the turbolift she was not surprised Sulu and Chekov went with her.

"Do not ask me anything. Just know I will be safe and I do know what I am doing."

Chekov looked at her and nodded, "Okay, but if that Cossack Cullen touches you I'll."

"Have what I leave of him if he hurts you or puts you at risk." Sulu looked at her and knew that his friend knew what she was doing, was more than capable of taking care of herself in almost all situations.

As she left them and walked to her quarters she said, "I'll tell you about it after I give my report in just over two hours. Get well rested while I'm gone."

In her quarters she had momentarily calmed herself and went to her drawer of mementos and took out the knife and held it for a moment. As she did so she heard the leader of the Tangora combined tribes call her a warrior, an alpha warrior worthy of such a weapon and to be called a leader of warriors. Just for a moment she closed her eyes as she remembered the glance she and Vern had exchanged when the leader had said that Vern was clearly her other back and arm. Vern had just given a slight nod that said so much. There was a feeling of pure reassurance as she put it in its sheath, and as she changed uniform she secured it so it was within easy reach yet it was not only hidden from view and also no visible indication she was in any way armed. She had been on away missions when things had gone awry and while she trusted that Tillis had arranged protection for her she knew it was best to be prepared.

Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott had kept his opinions of that obnoxious Officer Cullen and was more than annoyed when he kept repeating what he expected with the delivery of items as well as the transport of crew. There was just something about the man that did not fit right with him. There was also the way that neither the Captain nor Spock had talked about Cullen that made his suspect the man was involved in what happened to Spock. After seeing how Spock was when beamed back in that crate and seeing how he was in the Captain's quarters if he found out Cullen was involved then he would arrange for an accident to happen to him later.

It was hard enough to keep quiet while the man was there directing which officer took which small box of small treats for the children but when Lieutenant Uhura arrived and asked if they were ready he could not believe the Captain was allowing her to go with that man.

Before he could comment she smiled at him, "Scotty, the Commodore has asked me to go with this delivery and to find out what the situation is. The Commodore will take the necessary action to make sure such errors do not happen again. When we get back you and I can talk about it."

Scotty looked over at Cullen who was still talking with others and then back at Uhura and just looked at her for a moment then, having known her for so long and hearing what was not said, he nodded, "Aye, I will look forward to that talk."

"Lieutenant Uhura, it is time to beam down. Chief Engineer, please beam us down as soon as the Lieutenant is in position." Both Uhura and Scotty glanced at each other and shared a smile at how pompous Cullen sounded and was acting.

Once Uhura was in position Scotty nodded at her. "Engergizing now." As the figures on the platform he said a silent prayer for whatever gods there may be to watch over the lass while she was away and to bring her home safely to him, and to the others on the ship was more of an afterthought. He had not been surprised that he had detected that wee special knife on her, he had seen her take it with her before.

Uhura noticed that as soon as they materialized on Biron Base Twenty-seven Cullen seemed to forget the whole purpose of the trip as he looked at her and said, "See to the proper distribution of the supplies. I will be back for you." and left. As she watched him walk away she nodded, said to herself, "And so it begins.", then set about getting the supplies correctly distributed. She smiled as she saw how many extra boxes of treats had been included for the children on the base and she knew it was what the Captain and Mister Spock used to do as they always seemed to think of the children who had no option but to be there. Thee was also the few boxes of treats for the wives on the base so that they were not too far out-of-fashion when they went off-base as well as a few body lotions that were hard to come by away from a Starbase.

It had surprised Scotty when Commodore Tillis came down just over five hours after he had beamed Uhura and Cullen down. It was most unusual, then he remembered what Uhura had not said. While she had said that the Commodore would take the necessary action she had not said when or how. Now he knew the man suspected that Cullen might be involved in what had happened to Spock. As he looked at the man he first saw a very presentable and friendly looking man till he studied the man's eyes. He had seen them before and they were those of a man in control just surveying his surrounds but now he saw the eyes of a hunter.

"Mister Scott, you will beam up the officers who went down with the supplies when Officer Cullen contacts you. When they have left the room you will beam me down and then arrange for Captain Kirk to be waiting for my return in the main briefing room. Ten minutes after I beam down you will beam up Officer Cullen and myself and five minutes after that you will beam up Lieutenant Uhura and accompany her along with Officers Sulu and Chekov to the briefing room."

"Aye, I shall arrange that for ye, Sir." It was there. In the voice. The hunter setting the trap for its prey. Clearly he and Uhura had discussed it before she went down, it was confirmation of what she had alluded to and he felt much better for knowing the man had a plan.

The supplies had taken almost five hours to correctly distribute and to have confirmation from the different areas on the base that what they had received was what was needed and they were officially signed for and Uhura had been talking with some of the officers and locals when Cullen came back. He gave the officers who had done all the work a cursory glance, "You will be beamed up shortly. I need Lieutenant Uhura to remain here longer as we have business to attend to."

As soon as the officers had vanished Cullen roughly gripper her arm, "We have business to attend to and you will be silent."

While Cullen had clearly not paid much attention to their surroundings Uhura was aware of two men watching them as well as acting as though they were sorting the last of the supplies. One of them gave her a slight nod and she nodded back. There was no mistaking the pleasure Cullen got when he pulled her into what clearly passed as a bar on the base and a lot of men looked at her as Cullen said, "This is the piece I was telling you about."

"That's a Starfleet uniform, she's an officer. You did not say that."

"I told you I just delivered a Vulcan to another base that likes exotics. If you do not want her I can take her to another base where she will have the accident as she now has to vanish from Starfleet. This is my tenth delivery of officers to bases and planets where I knew they would be appreciated. I'm sure some of you would enjoy to,"

A man walked forward and looked at her hands then at Cullen, "What do you want for her?"

"Depends on what offers I get."tillis simple

The man looked back at Uhura, "This is like living isn't simple." The eyes was clearly searching for something, but what? All he had said. What he had said. Tillis. He was one of Tillis's contacts. Uhura gave a slight nod and the man looked at Cullen, "Look around you, see anybody else interested in her?"

Cullen looked around then back at the man and Uhura sensed from how he gripped her arm that he realized his plan was not working as he expected it to. "As I said it would depend on what offers I get. Also, like I said, I can take her to another base."

"Now we both know that is not likely to happen as she will clearly report this action to her commanding officer."

"Then, then what are you going to give me for her."

"Your life."

Cullen laughed, "My life? You must be joking."

The man took a step closer, looked at her for a moment and then at Cullen, "We know that when you return to the ship without her you will have to make up a story as to what happened to her, no doubt you had to with the disappearance of the Vulcan. What sort of accident befell her here? With only you as a witness that may be troublesome as we will not lie when there is a search for her, an investigation. We just said she would report you to her commanding officer upon return to the ship. She would report to her commanding officer who would then report to your commanding officer and so on up the chain of command."

It was clear Cullen had not thought of them not being interested. As he struggled to think of what he had clearly not expected the man gripped her other arm and pulled her from Cullen. "As I said, I will take her. You have been paid by the choices you have now. Come on." The gathering of men parted and let them walk though, when she saw Cullen last he was looking alone and afraid.

"In here." the man took her into a room. A woman with two children had smiled as she walked in and the woman pointed to a table that had coffee and tea as well as some snacks, "I am Yon Wilson, my wife Glenda, son's Wayne, and daughter's Flora. Tillis has contacted us. This is not our home but we will hear what is said in the other room when Tillis arrives. You are to return to the ship five standard minutes after they are beamed up."

"Thank you for,"

"What's it like on a starship?" the children seemed to come to life and they had many questions that seemed to flow together, "Where to you go? What do you do? Where is your home when you are not on the ship? How many are on the ship? How many different species? what languages are spoken on the ship?"

"Enough!" The mother looked at Uhura, "I am sorry, we just do not get many visitors from off-base."

Uhura looked at the children and then at the man, "If you give me your personal frequency and band I will be able to more than answer their questions."

The woman looked at her and Uhura saw a look of uncertainty and reluctance, "What?"

"I was going to ask, no," she looked away, "it does not matter."

Uhura reached out and lightly, briefly touched the woman's shoulder so that she looked at her, "What?"

"I am a teacher and was going to ask if you could arrange to send some off-world things for the students to learn more about what happens, what life is like, off-base. We do get new things about once every two years when we are remembered."

Almost immediately Uhura thought of how Scotty, Sulu, and Sp. . . . She stopped. Momentarily closing her eyes. She had been about to say Spock but knew she was still not ready to accept she would not see or hear his voice again. He would have been the one to help, he always liked helping others learn new things, experience new things "I'd be honored to help and I know there will be many on the ship who will want to help."

"What do **you** do on the ship?" both children looked at her although it had been the girl who had asked.

"I am the Communications Officer. I listen to space talk and make connections to so many other ships and stations and bases. I had to learn many languages and how to do quick repairs to the main equipment at my station. Sometimes there is a lot of chat going on and other times it is very quiet."

Uhura was unaware of the passing of time as she talked with the children, answering their questions, and enjoyed the snacks that were not make in a replicator.

"Hush! He has arrived."

"Sir! I, I, I had not expected you to beam down."

"I was curious as to what was keeping you after the others had beamed up. Where is Lieutenant Uhura?"

"She was here a moment ago."

"I did not ask where she **was**. I asked for her present location. Where she **is**. You were to work together and she is too good an officer to just wander away on her own without saying where she was going. Now, where is she?"

"I, I could make inquiries. Somebody must know."

" **No** , I will make inquiries but first **we** will return to the ship and report to Kirk. He will, no doubt, want to send down officers to search for her and I would not want to be her if she wandered off on her own."

"Maybe one of the men here took her. You know how woman-starved so many of the bases are. Maybe one of the men just took her. I could go,"

" **We** are returning to the ship. If that, somebody taking her, is the case I would not want to be them if Kirk or any of that crew find out who did take her. You know that **whole crew** wants to find out who was responsible for that attack on us where Mister Spock was taken? Just think of all the ways they have learned in their travels on how to punish whoever harmed one of their number. Now, we best get back to the Enterprise and tell Kirk you lost his Communications Officer."

"I, I did not lose her. I could, I could stay and look," the unmistakable sound of a transporter beam cut of whatever Cullen was going to say.

* * *

A/N Running fast to stand still at the moment - so much going on but wanted to get this away. Enjoy and have fun.


	8. Chapter 8

For a moment Uhura, when it was obvious that Cullen knew he was caught, found she had wanted to rush in and see how he looked, how he liked being trapped, but she knew Tillis would have everything under control. Five minutes. She had five minutes to thank the man for playing his part, for doing what he had done.

"I want to thank you for," Uhura started.

"You already have," the woman smiled, "I saw how patient you were answering the many questions the children had and in ways they could easily understand. In even that short a time you have helped them learn so much as well as excite their curiosity to learn more."

Uhura glanced at the children then at the man before she looked back at the woman, "It was the least I could do. You are about my size. When I send what I said I would for them you can expect something as well."

The man said, "Coming up to four and a half standard minutes. I also wish to thank you for what you have done for my family."

"Thank you for getting me away."

"Ahhh, tis grand ta see ye again, lass." the pleasure was not only in Scotty's voice as Uhura saw it in his expression and body language as he walked up to her, and she smiled back noticing Sulu and Chekov were there waiting for her as well. Officer Thomlink, one of the officers who would relieve for Scotty walked over to stand by the console. "Tis time for us to join the others in the briefing room."

As they walked to the briefing room Chekov glanced at Uhura and was relieved that she seemed unharmed, Sulu studied how Uhura moved rather than just casually glancing at her and was satisfied that she was alright, and Scotty had scrutinized her as she had walked from the platform when she beamed back aboard. A thought sprung to Scotty as they walked and he allowed himself a slight smile. It was going to be a sight to see when these three saw that Spock was alive and on the ship. Now that Officer Cullen may not be so pleased but those three would be so pleased he just hoped they would be able to control their emotions when they saw him.

In the briefing room Jim Kirk had been alone. No, he had not been totally alone for he had all those questions about what Tillis was really on his ship for, what the connection was with Cullen as he knew there was something about Cullen that Tillis was watching. He had sat dealing with them for a few minutes before Tillis walked in with Cullen right behind him. "I believe that Officer Cullen wants to deliver his full report on the delivery of the relief supplies Biron Base Twenty-eight to you, Captain Kirk."

Kirk realized that Cullen was very nervous, avoiding all eye contact and shifting slightly on his feet. When he looked at Tillis he saw the man was, at first glance, very relaxed yet, as he looked closer, he saw intensity in the way he was looking at Cullen. There clearly was some problem there. It was like a hunting animal eyeing its prey awaiting the right moment to attack. There was something Tillis had not told him and that troubled him, had troubled him since Spock went missing. There was what? As he looked at the two he could see fear in Cullen and almost an aura of victory about Tillis. No, it was more than that.

"It, it was just like any other delivery of supplies to a Federation base." Cullen still avoided eye contact.

"Any other delivery of supplies? Aren't you are leaving out the fact you took Lieutenant Uhura with you and somehow she is now lost."

Only the table between them stopped Kirk from grabbing Cullen, " **What?** Why did you take her and how the hell could she get lost?"

Tillis grabbed Kirk's arm, "I gave her permission to go, Kirk."

It was all he could do to control the fury racing through him as Kirk turned to face Tillis, " **You** did not ask me nor inform me of that!"

"It was best, Captain, that the fewer who knew the less chance there was of this not happening. We would have no proof."

" **What the hell are you talking about**? What do you mean about this not happening and proof?"

"Once you have calmed down, Captain Kirk, Officer Cullen will give us both a very detailed report as he was there." When Tillis looked at Cullen there was a look that Kirk had seldom seen given to a junior officer by any officer higher than a Captain but there was no mistaking that look, the look that spoke of how fortunate the junior officer was that there was another present to prevent a murder. "Officer Cullen, your report, **now**."

"It was a standard delivery. I supervised the distribution and was not watching what the Lieutenant was doing. I was looking for her when you arrived, Sir."

Kirk could feel an anger building in him and realized it was not only aimed at Cullen but also at Tillis. Tillis was to have taken care of his crew not endangered them.

"That is **not what I saw** when I arrived. When I arrived you were waiting in the designated location for beaming you out."

"I, I meant to say I was about to go looking for her again." The panic that was in his voice was clearly showing on his face as Cullen looked from Tillis to Kirk and then back at Tillis. "Sir, I was,"

The door opened and Kirk was oddly not surprised when Tillis nodded as though in satisfaction then saw him look stunned. A look of total shock was on Cullen's face as Scotty walked in with Sulu followed by Chekov, and then Uhura. It was in how his Communications Officer paused when she saw Cullen that Kirk knew something was about to happen and even as he stood she rushed at Cullen. Her actions caught all of them unprepared. As she rushed toward Cullen she seemed to pull a knife from nowhere, pin him against the wall, press the blade to his throat, and say, in a voice none of those there who knew her had heard before, "Give me one reason not to. Just one reason after what you did to Mister Spock. Just one,"

"The main reason you will not do so, Miss Uhura, is that it is not in you to kill based on a purely emotional reaction," the calm baritone voice seemed to still her and the others turned to look at Spock as he stood in the doorway, "a second reason is that I survived what he had planned for me, and, most importantly, is the fact that that knife indicates you are a leader of warriors of the combined Tangora tribes, a very honorable and proud people who are recognized as the leading Federation hand-to-hand and knife-in-hand fighters and you do not want to tarnish all that that blade represents by getting blood from that thing on it."

Before he, and he was sure others, realized what happened Uhura had knocked Cullen to the floor and rushed over to grip both Spock's upper arms, "How?"

Very softly, as though sharing a secret, Spock said, "Vern got seriously harmed in saving and helping me. Doctor McCoy assured me he will recover."

For a moment there was stillness in the room and then Uhura nodded and Sulu and Chekov rushed into the room after having been halted by Scotty at the door. The relief at seeing Spock alive and back was on their faces as they looked at their Vulcan friend but Kirk felt unease when he saw how the three officers, after recovering from seeing their friend alive and back, all turned and looked at Cullen. He knew that keeping the man in the Security area would be the safest place for the man and that he would have to issue direct orders that the man was not to be harmed while being escorted to the cell.

"I, I, I was told you had been taken. They said you were just a hanging body. I was told you would be either dead or dying as you had been given far too much of both drugs and would have been uncontrollable without them. You would have the Vulcan strength but your mind would have been too greatly affected by the drugs for you to know what you were doing." for a moment Cullen still cowered but slowly stood up and grinned. "As you must have attacked another officer, a junior officer, who sustained such severe injuries as to need extended time recovering from injuries then you will have to stand trial and be taken off the ship, disgraced, and,"

"And nothing. My patient, Vern Winstone, stated that he had laid hands on Mister Spock without warning or provocation. He made an official report to myself and Doctor M'Benga that he was the one who caused the fighting that caused his injuries." McCoy slowly entered the room and walked over to look at Spock, "Is it true, First Officer Spock, that Officer Vern Winstone was the first one to make physical contact, that he was who made the first aggressive move by touching you without your permission or knowledge, the first move that caused you to physically move or react?"

"Yes, Doctor, he was, but,"

"As a man of logic, Mister Spock, you know that a question that asks for affirmation or negation does not require more than a yes or a no for an answer. You just admitted that it was, in fact, Officer Vern Winstone who started the physical contact, that he, in doing so, initiated the confrontations you had. That being the case if there were to be any sort of a trial it would be he would be charged and taken off the ship and not you."

"He, he must have threatened him, must have made him help. Senior officers cannot use verbal threats to get their way. You said the other man was just an officer. He must have made him. You have no real proof that the other officer actually physically touched him first."

Tillis looked at Kirk as though willing him to have some proof yet certain that there was none. Hearsay was not enough.

Hearsay. Hear say. Kirk looked at Uhura then at McCoy, "In that message, the one Uhura taped while I was down looking for Spock in one area while Cullen was in another area, the tape where Cullen in informed that whoever was meant to be watching Spock had lost him."

Momentarily he closed his eyes and tried to remember something about it that mentioned that Winstone did make the first move. Parts of it came to him. " _Some guy just came out of the bar and carried it away like he was one of us. . . . . . Just came out, right up to him, cut the ropes like they weren't there, let him fall to the ground, then slung him over his shoulder like he were nothing in weight and walked away"_

Kirk looked back at Tillis, "There was mention of some person leaving a bar and just carrying him away. That person walking up to where they had him hanging by his wrists, cutting him down, letting him fall to the ground and then slinging him over his shoulder and walking away. At the time Mister Spock was heavily drugged."

Total disbelief was on Cullen's face, "You could not have recorded that, could not have heard that. It is against regulations to tap,"

"You are acutely remiss in the regulations but I am sure over the next few years you will get very familiar with them as you serve whatever sentence you will receive. It is within the purview of a starship's Communications Officer to record any transmission they view as being of significance to the safety and well-being of the ship and its compliment." Tillis look at Uhura, "I believe I worded that correctly, Lieutenant."

"Yes, Sir, that is the wording."

"I will require a copy of the full recording."

"Yes, Sir."

"Now that we have," Tillis started, "concluded this mission I would like to return to Command as soon as possible and be done with this, this," it was almost as though Tillis had lost control for a moment as he stood and took two steps towards Cullen who had his back firmly against the wall, there was a look in his eye that made Kirk pleased there were others there to pull the Commodore back if the man did what was reflected on his face, "this waster of space and oxygen. Had you succeeded with these two from the Enterprise that would be what, twenty-nine officers you have cost Starfleet? Twenty-nine lives you have turned into living hells and for what? All we have been able to find so far have been materialistic things that will be sold and the credits from them given to the families of those officers you may as well have killed. All the income earned from the work you will be doing while incarcerated for at least the rest of your life will also go to those families. Some of that money will also go toward whatever care Officer Vern Winstone might need as he too is a victim of your actions. There will,"

A young officer from the medical team rushed to the door and looked around before looking at Spock, "Mister Spock, he is extremely restive and calling for you."

Spock took four steps forward and stood looking down at Cullen, "Know this, **I will privately** **deal** **with you** **later**." then turned and all but ran after the young medic. He did not turn to see how stunned yet understanding his fellow officers were, how Kirk and McCoy were following him, how Tillis was looking at Cullen with such murderous intent, nor how Cullen had slid to the floor, pulled his knees to his chest, and just rocked back and forth with his eyes shut. All that mattered to him at that moment was that Vern Winstone was conscious and calling for him.

Just before he started to join Jim in racing after Spock McCoy had taken a few seconds to use the com unit and tell Sickbay, "McCoy here. **Do NOT** let Spock get into Intensive Care. I'm coming."

By the time he and Kirk got to Sickbay they could see that the only thing stopping Spock from getting into Intensive Care was M'Benga and a security guard with a phaser.

* * *

A/N Feels like I am trying to ski up an avalanche as so many things happening but do want to get these stories finished as soon as I can. Winter is sledgehammering at the door and a certain Border Collie does not understand why she owner does not like trying to walk on frosty sidewalks nor have cold showers as she walks. Hope you all are well and safe. Thanks for reading. Take care and HAVE FUN!


	9. Chapter 9

As they got closer to Sickbay Kirk realized that if anything could ever melt the outer hull of the Enterprise it would have to be the look that Spock had given McCoy. That look was a direct contradiction to the extreme coldness in his voice when he said, "Doctor, explain this action."

"I need to talk with you first, Spock." McCoy took a step closer to Spock and the Vulcan seemed to actually see McCoy and not Doctor McCoy. "There are a few things you need to know before you see him now."

For two point one nine standard minutes those blue eyes looked at him unwaveringly and Spock saw concern and care. There was also the truth. There had been some sort of change in Winstone's condition since he had been allowed to see him via the computer link. There had been something he had not seen or been told about Vern Winstone's condition. There was something McCoy wanted to tell him. As ht kept looking at McCoy he understood. There was something McCoy wanted to tell him. Something McCoy wanted to tell him alone. "I ask pardon for my tone, Doctor."

"I should have told you more earlier, Spock. Perhaps I was mistaken in thinking you needed,"

"What is needed, Doctor, is the privacy of your office for the two of us to discuss this."

"No, right now we just need the others to stand back, or better yet leave, and I will go with you to see Vern but you must know that signs of deep tissue bruising can take time to be visible." McCoy could tell from how the Vulcan was looking at him that his friend understood what he did not want to say. There was just that slightest of nods that let him know that Spock was ready to go in and see Winstone.

"Will my physical contact with him cause him more pain?" As he watched his human friend Spock saw the way McCoy usually looked when he was carefully wording a response he was unsure about. "I will not meld with him, just take his hand if he is wanting to take hold of mine."

"What say we just go see him first then you and I will talk **in private**." McCoy paused to look at Kirk then at M'Benga and the security guard, "If you will excuse us, Mister Spock and I need time **alone** with Vern Winstone and then, Jim, after Spock and I have had a talk he can tell you what he wants you to know and I will inform you of his present and likely status."

When McCoy looked back at him Kirk saw the certainty in the blue eyes, "I think you should get back to the meeting you so hurriedly left, Jim. I feel certain that there were four of your officers there who could very easily very slowly and extremely painfully kill another officer and a senior officer who would be unable, possibly even unwilling, to stop them. Somehow I think if that did happen not one of them would later be able to say who actually killed him."

"That is true, Captain, as I sensed, as soon as I entered the briefing room and saw her, a most unsettling and also a most uncharacteristic desire in Lieutenant Uhura to kill Officer Cullen in a way not unlike that of the warriors of Tangora," Spock saw how Kirk looked rather surprised, "I also was aware that Sulu, Chekov, and Mister Scott made no attempt to either stop or to dissuade her and even Commodore Tillis did not even verbally command her to stop."

For just a few breaths Kirk reflected on what both had said and nodded as he knew they were right. Spock had not said how even he, the Captain of the Enterprise, Uhuras's commanding officer, had made no attempt to stop her. How well his Vulcan friend knew him for he also wanted to kill Cullen for what he had done to Spock. While he knew all that had been done to his Vulcan friend, and Bones had a few ideas based on the medical evidence, the others did not know for if they did Kirk was sure there would be no safe place for Cullen on the ship and they would ensure that not a single trace would ever be found of his body.

Still looking at the other two Kirk said, "You two are both right. I best get back and deal with Tillis and Cullen before the others do it. I will be back as soon as,"

Spock nodded, "Perhaps we three could meet in my quarters later after you have attended to what you must and I, we, have seen to Winstone."

Before he answered Kirk saw McCoy give a very slight nod that Spock did not see, "Agreed, I believe that is the best for us."

"After we have met I will talk individually with Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov as I wish to thank them for their roles in this matter."

 _Roles in this matter_. From the look McCoy gave him Kirk realized he was as puzzled as he was. There was a moment when he was going to ask but stopped himself, it was some-thing that his friend thought he had to do and that was enough.

"Right, I'll get going. Meet you both in Spock's quarters later."

Spock had taken four steps into the area in the Intensive Care unit where Vern Winstone was and halted as he heard a strained voice calling his name. There was a determination in the voice as well as a plea mixed with fear. A reassuring hand gripped his arm and when he looked at McCoy he saw understanding in the blue eyes. The good doctor was, in his own way, letting him know he not only understood the emotion that was fighting to break through his controls but also that he was there for support. No judgement, just support. In six more steps Spock closed the distance to the bed.

Although a part of his mind let him know it was not possible Spock felt as though he and Vern were alone as he looked down and two dark brown eyes looked up and a smile was about the battered lips, "I, I told, told them," Vern tried to raise his right arm with his hand held out, but the pain in the voice reflected the pain he was in and the strain of trying to raise his arm was too much and Spock took the hand in his, feeling the fingers try to tighten around his, "I told them I, told them I hit, I hit you first. Not your fault, I hit, I hit first. I, hit spar, hit my sparring part, partner. I, I hit my, my friend first. I hit."

"Right now you are to rest. You are under the care of Doctor McCoy so know that you are receiving not only the best medical expertise available in all of the Federation but also the best in personal care. When time permits I will assist him with your care."

As the Vulcan looked down at Vern he was aware of what that something he was sure McCoy had not told him was. Only now, as he looked at Vern and then at the bank of registers, did he see the damage, the true extent of the damage he had caused, damage he had not seen when McCoy and enabled him to see Winstone earlier on the computer. Briefly he closed his eyes and found himself again saying, "Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry. Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry. Ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I am sorry."

The fingers in his hand tried to grip and he opened his eyes, "Hey, I, I hit you first. I, I should say."

"You should not talk. You need rest. I will come back as time allows."

"Thank,"

"No. Just rest." When Winstone closed his eyes and released his hold on Spock's hand the Vulcan had stood for a moment just looking down at him and McCoy was slightly concerned with his Vulcan friend did not object to him taking his arm and leading him into his office and helping him sit down.

"Now you just listen to me, Spock. I am fully aware that he is in that condition because of him helping you clear your systems of all those drugs. I know that at the time you had been fighting him it was not him you were fighting but some horrible hallucination and that you would have been in full Vulcan mode. What you have to remember is that he did make the first move. He would have known you were not your usual self, he knew he had to make you fight to think, he,"

"He was not prepared to fight a Vulcan, Doctor McCoy. He could not fight me as a Vulcan would have fought. He,"

"He had sparred with you a few times. You going to discredit what he did by thinking he did not know what he was getting himself into? You saying after sparring with you a few times that he had no idea what he was confronting?"

"Doctor, I recall sparring with him but I was in control then. Over the last four years there have been twenty-seven times I sparred with him when Jim was not available and when I needed extra physical therapy after four missions when Jim was not available to assist me reach the level of fitness required. He would have had no idea of the strength of,"

"Did you have any idea he was capable of fighting back as much as he did as long as he did?" McCoy reached out and placed a hand on Spock's nearest shoulder, "Do you even now accept that he did what he felt he had to do and not because you are his senior officer?"

An echo of _"My sparring partner, my friend."_ came back to him, not only the words but how Winstone had strained to say them. For a moment Vern Winstone calling him that made Spock pause. In the four years he had known Winstone he had had just one hundred and seven conversations of longer than thirty standard minutes on non-ship related matters with him and had been off ship with him two hundred and eighty-two times. Despite himself Spock nodded and allowed himself to smile, slightly. He remembered them as even off ship Winstone was a rare Human in that he seemed to always to be oddly on alert yet also so very relaxed, he seemed to just fit in as though he had spent most of his life in whatever situation they found themselves in. _"Not because you are his senior officer."_ Slowly he raised his head and looked at McCoy, "You are right, Doctor. I can now accept that he did what he did as he felt he had to and not because of any feeling of obligation or duty."

"Good, as now you and the rest of us are going to have to help him fight back after he has given his body enough time to get over the tremendous and repeated shocks it was exposed to. He will need his friend and his sparring partner to,"

"As I told him, McCoy, I will be here when I am not required elsewhere."

"And I will make sure that you get the required sleep and eat so I do not end up with two patients."

There was that quiet understanding between them when they looked at each other for a moment in silence.

"I,"

"You,"

They both smiled at how they started to speak at the same time. "I'm gonna be in my office for some time, Spock. You best go rescue Jim as I have a feeling he should not be alone with Cullen."

Spock looked at a pillow and blanket on the drop-down bed in McCoy's office then looked at McCoy, "I will not be long, Doctor, and then will ensure you get sleep in your own quarters."

"Okay, go."

When Kirk returned to the briefing room he found Commodore Tillis just sitting alone, clearly waiting for him. "You have, as I had been informed and have been privileged to witness myself, a most remarkable crew, Captain Kirk. It truly is the best in the fleet. As I explained to the four who were here I came aboard the Enterprise with Officer Cullen to investigate the disappearance of many non-Human officers who went missing from ships he was on. The senior echelon has had suspicions for some time and when I proposed this form of investigation they put it into action."

An anger surged through Kirk and he all but rushed at Tillis, " **You**. **You endangered**,"

"Sit down, Captain.!"

As Kirk sat he felt the anger boiling in him and he glared at the man, "Just, just tell me this, was it you or the others who decided on the Enterprise and was the Enterprise chosen because of First Officer being Vulcan?"

"As I said it was the decision of the senior echelon that we find and punish those who were responsible for the loss of so many officers on away missions. Cullen is not the first and, unfortunately unlikely to be the last, to be found to be doing this. The officers who have gone missing have all been non-Human or at least only part Human. It was the decision of the others, I did not want what was referred to as "the bait officer" to be an unwilling and unknowing participant. I had nine other non-Human officers on other ships who were willing to be the bait but I was a lone vote against twenty-five. They believe it best that none of this get out to other ships, other possible victims, other possible officers who are acting like Cullen."

"When." Kirk was struggling to control his inner rage, 'when did you suspect Cullen? Before or,"

"I would not say I really suspected him till Mister Spock, Cullen and myself were attacked and Spock was taken. I had noticed that he had been on three ships where officers had gone missing but he had also been on several ships were there were non-Human crew and none of them went missing. I played a hunch, Kirk."

"And **put my crew at risk** without informing me."

"That I regret, Kirk, but it was necessary. Cullen could not know he was being watched and I thought it best not to inform you."

Gradually Kirk's anger faded as he saw reasoning in what Tillis said. He still wanted to kill Cullen but at least understood why Tillis had done what he had done and he was sure that Spock would also agree once they talked about it.

"I think at the moment you should go and talk with your officers, Kirk, after making sure they got Cullen safely to a security cell. I have to admit that he was decidedly not keen for them to escort him to a cell." Tillis looked at him and Kirk saw him fighting to not grin, "I do not know which of your officers he was most afraid of. I would be most afraid of Lieutenant Uhura. That was a real warrior knife of the Tangora and for her to have it and to have that particular type of knife indicates she earned it before the high leaders of the Tangora as it was a knife only a leader of warriors of the combined Tangora tribes can have and she would most likely be the only woman to have one. Although he shows great potential there was also something about the way Chekov was looking at Cullen that was unsettling. I believe both Mister Scott and Sulu would wait for a time when Cullen was alone and least expected anything."

Kirk nodded as he had similar thoughts and knew that he would go along later and confront Cullen even though he was neither his responsibility nor welcome on the ship. He just wanted to see him in a cell, wanted to see him realize what awaited him when they arrived back at Command.

What neither Kirk nor Tillis knew was that the four officers had escorted Cullen to the cell almost without incident. Nine times on the way to the cell Cullen "fell" and Sulu helped him up. At the cell Uhura had accidently nicked his skin over twenty times while cutting off his uniform leaving him only in underpants. Scotty had trouble both dropping and maintaining the force-field at the door when Cullen went to walk in and he was badly stunned by the time he slumped onto the cot. And while Chekov was usually able to set the environmental settings at appropriate settings for the prisoner had some difficulty in deciding what the air supply should be set at so left it set at a moderate airflow at five degrees centigrade. What would not have surprised Kirk was that not a word was spoken the whole time Cullen was taken to the cell and left there. He was well aware of how well his senior bridge crew knew one another and would have found it totally natural for each would have been restrain what they really wanted to do to Cullen.

Although he had left Sickbay with every intention of going to his quarters and resting as he had indicated to McCoy he was going to do but fifty-nine paces from his quarters Spock stopped. No. Rest could wait. He had to go see Uhura then the others for he had seen and felt, when he had first entered the briefing room, their disgust and hatred towards Cullen and then he had had to brace himself for the almost over-powering wave of relief, joy, and, yes, love that surged from all of them toward him. As he had looked at them one by one he had seen how each of them had wanted to do that Human gesture of hugging him but showed their respect by just nodding and smiling. It was obvious that Mister Scott had not told them and he knew it was because the Chief Engineer respected his need for time to recover as well as to ensure that nobody else know he was alive. He walked on to Lieutenant Uhura's quarters and awaited her to grant him permission to enter.

* * *

A/N Very deceptive day - thought to myself "Ah-ha! I can get some of the garden ready for winter." as it was a clear morning and only the sign of a breeze and after walking the dog and getting into a good rhythm with the pruning and weeding that good old southerly breeze deceptively started an attempt at freezing the shovel to my hands as it changed from a breeze to a steady wind right "off the ice" (Antarctica) so I figured if I did some typing my fingers just might thaw a bit. Hope you guys are all safe and enjoying better weather. Thanks for reading. Enjoy.


	10. Chapter 10

Stretching out on his bed Sulu found he could finally relax. There had been that a part of him that had not stopped wondering about what had happened to Spock. While he knew that many saw just a cold and logically exacting Science Officer or a near perfectionist First Officer he, and he was sure most of those who served under him for at least two years, came to see the being who cared about them and who wanted them to be the best they could be. Till he had seen him walk into the briefing room there had been that pit of doubt in him, that unanswered question about how he had vanished that kept repeating at the most unusual times. All those times he had looked at Cullen and felt to his core that he knew something he was not telling them, that he was behind Spock's disappearance. All those times were proven to be right simply from how Cullen had reacted when Spock had walked into the briefing room. It had been just the control that the Vulcan had instilled in him that had kept him from doing what he had so longed to do.

When Tillis had said that the four of them were to take Cullen to a secure cell he knew that Cullen would need some encouragement to go. Just for a moment, as he had looked at Cullen, he was sure the man had become petrified with pure fear from the way he was so suddenly wide-eyes and seemed frozen, almost afraid to breathe. It had been so easy to sneak in a few subtle judo moves in that caused Cullen to fall and also when he would pull it back up from the floor. While a part of him had wanted to cause greater damage to Cullen he was more than satisfied to just cause enough distress to the man's body so that after some stillness the muscles would cause him great pain to move. No obvious surface bruising but he had been taught how to deliver to blows so that only the deep tissue was affected. It had been Spock who had shown him how to change the judo movement with a Vulcan to be able to do that. " _Mister Sulu, remember it is the nerves that feel and not the muscle. The muscles only react to the sensation of pain from the nerves. Trigger the nerve and you impact on the muscle._ "

Later he would have a long talk with Spock but for now he knew he needed to be well rested for when he had to answer for what he had done on the walk to the cell. He could not say he in any way regretted what he had done. During the talk he would find a way to thank Spock , even though he was aware of how the Vulcan would say that thanking him was illogical for some reason, for the notification he had found on this computer, a memo confirmation that he would be the first off-base officer to be given full instruction in flying the latest small medium-distance craft that Command had designed as per a request by First Officer Spock and supported by Captain Kirk. How like that quiet being to suggest something to help other officers learn something new and have the Captain back him up. So many times he had seen Spock bring different things to the attention of the Captain that either would advance the career potential on other officers or be in fields they were interested in and had heard the Captain say he had not thought of that. He could admit that he did not want to know exactly what had happened to Spock as he knew the man well enough to have noticed how some of his movements were not as smooth as usual for if he knew and Cullen were in any way to blame there were more moves he would show that thing in private. He could also admit that he would need to be well rested as they would likely be questioned about their actions later.

Fear. Fear bordering on primal terror was what she had seen on Cullen's face when Tillis had said, " _Officers Scott, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov;:you four alone are to take that to Security and put it in an appropriate cell._ " All the way to the cell they had walked in silence as they escorted Cullen to the cell. Even when Cullen fell nine times not a word was said by the four of them while Cullen gave a very entertaining display of linguistic dexterity and depth of knowledge in curse and swear words from known planets. When they got to the cell Cullen had complained about his dirty clothes so she had taken just a few minutes to go the control counter and find the emergency cutlery set and get the knife. It was not as sharp as she would have liked but it helped cut off his outer clothes, although she did, because of it not having the sharpness she was used to, accidentally cut him twenty times. Well, she smiled to herself, if she had taken time and care she might not have nicked him quite so often or deeply yet she was assisting him to get out of the clothes he had been complaining about. She dud nod to herself as she knew Spock would not have approved but at least fifteen of the slight nicks were in areas which would make laying down and moving uncomfortable. It had been oddly satisfying as she had seen the tell-tale signs of the abuse her friend had suffered because of Cullen and she had no doubt that whatever really was the reason for Vern Winstone to still be in Sickbay and not allowed to have visitors was related to Cullen's actions. Later she would discuss what she did with Spock and, if necessary, Captain Kirk and Commodore Tillis. A part of her knew that, should she find out that Cullen had hurt both her friends, Cullen would find out she really was better with a much sharper knife.

There was also the matter of how she unashamedly revealed all of her emotions when she heard his voice as she held her knife to Cullen's throat. To have grabbed his arms as she had when all those emotions had been. Momentarily she closed her eyes and shut her eyes. Spock would not have been prepared for the intensity of them. Now she just wanted to sit and give thanks for his return/ Carefully placing the knife in its place she started to be still when she heard the tone that let her know somebody wanted to see her. A visitor was the last thing she wanted and she was going to let whoever it was know it.

" _Put it in an appropriate cell._ " Chekov wondered, as soon as Tillis had said that, if the man knew the freedom he had just given them. Without a word said they had walked, well mainly walked, Cullen to the cell, paused nine times when Cullen had fallen, waited while Scotty tried to find the cause for the fluctuation in power when Cullen tried to enter the cell, and then while Uhura fought to steady her hands as she cut off the uniform that Cullen had complained about. When Scotty had stood back from the controls and Uhura had removed his unitorm, it had been so pleasurable to set the atmospheric conditions in the cell to intermittent cold blasts of fresh air. There had been so many setting he could have set it on but he knew that Mister Spock would not have approved of them, he possibly would not approve of the ones he used but he wanted Cullen not to have an easy time in the cell.

Although there were times when the corrections from the quiet Vulcan annoyed him he knew that his skills and understanding were only helped by them. So many times he had seen, when it was quiet on the bridge, how Spock had encouraged Sulu and Uhura, as well as himself, to mentally assume the role of the captain of a starship and tell him what they would do in so many scenarios. Those scenarios proved to him that despite what he had heard about Vulcans not having imaginations there was at least one with Vulcan blood who had a very vivid one. No matter how wrong their solutions were all that Spock had said was to think again about their action and what other possibilities there were. As he stretched out on his bed he knew that he would sleep better knowing his friend was safely back home.

As he returned to check the situation in Engineering before he went to get some sleep Montgomery Scott smiled to himself as he recalled the terror he had seen on Cullen's face when Uhura had held the knife to his throat. He even allowed himself to laugh twice when he remembered how that terror only increased to pure paralysing terror when Spock had entered the briefing room. Few times in his life had he seen an officer who had been so full of confidence not only shrink to being a trembling mess but then slowly lose the ability to stand but fell to the floor to sit hugging his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth softly saying "No, no, no." Twas a grand thing to see. When he had pulled Cullen up from the floor there was no mistaking that both his urinary tract and his digestive tract emptied into his pants when Tillis said, " _Officers Scott, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov: you four alone are to take that to Security and put it in an appropriate cell._ " If called to testify about what happened between them leaving the briefing room to go to the cell and immediately afterwards he knew where he had a great bottle that would see him unable to recall the events.

It had been very hard to keep the secret of Spock being alive from the others but he knew they understood and did not think of it as a slight. Cullen was cunning enough to have noticed any change in their attitudes and there would have been a great change. From when they were told the Mister Spock had been kidnapped on a hands-off planet there had been that clear disbelief and sadness about the whole ship and that just going through the motions of doing their duty of the bridge crew. Not telling the others of his return had been one of the hardest things he had had to do. Just those days of having to control his emotions had given him such insight to what his Vulcan friend lived with daily. Oh, he had heard the man often say he was free from emotions yet he had seen him a few times when the Vulcan shielding was down, he had seen the depths of the man's emotions and understood why that shield was as much for his friend as for those around him.

"Sir, there were odd fluctuations in power to the force-fields in security but," one of the young officer came over to him as soon as he had entered, "it,"

"Nay to worry, laddie. I know what it was. Tis likely it will happen again. Only let me know if it stays off for longer than five seconds unless you are notified by the Captain, Mister Spock, or myself."

"Mis, Mister Spock. Is he, is he," there was both disbelief and excitement on the lad's face and, as he looked around at the three other officers who had appeared in the main section as soon as they heard him say Mister Spock.

"Aye, Mister Spock is back where he belongs and he'll nay expect any reduction in our high standards. Now I will go get some sleep but know that I want to be able to give the Captain the speed he will want to get us to Command as soon as possible."

It would only have been a blind man who would not have seen the look exchanged by the four officers before the first officer to speak spoke, "May I ask if the reason for that odd fluctuation had anything to do with who or what might be in that cell having anything to do with Mister Spock's disappearance from the ship?"

"Ye may ask, lad, and all I will tell ye is that what is in that cell had something to do with Mister Spock's disappearance and who is in Sickbay had to do with his safe return. It is for Captain Kirk to tell the rest of the crew so for not knowing it stays here." The four looked at one another and Scotty saw the slight nods given to one another and he said, "Now, all of ye have your tasks and I need to rest. Ye will leave **all** treatment of that thing in the cell to senior officers. Ye understand and hear me?"

Almost in unison he heard, "Yes, Sir." and nodded as he left. They were all good lads and he knew that they would ensure that only the senior officers had access to Security. If there was to be trouble for how Cullen was treated then he would take responsibility as he was the senior officer and he allowed the others to, as per the orders they had from Commodore Tillis. He would have a nip from his special bottle to celebrate the senior crew now all knowing Spock was home and a second nip to celebrate the completeness of the family.

After Kirk left Tillis he had thought of doing as he suggested and meeting with the others but he knew it could wait, he knew it would wait as he had no doubt that the relief of them having Spock back would require significant sleep to really get their bodies back to a regular rhythm. He also needed rest. He knew only too well he would need the help of both Spock and McCoy to correctly word his report when it came to describing Winstone's involvement in finding and returning Spock to the ship and what his future aboard the ship would be. If he fully disclosed what had happened with Spock's recovery Spock could be removed as he did, at least on the last few days, know he was beating a junior officer and if he disclosed his medical state he would be removed from the ship and McCoy's future put in doubt for not fully notifying them. With those thoughts occupying him he stretched out on his bed to think things over as he knew that Spock was going to come by later and talk. While he waited he needed to think. He needed to think but his body slowly gave in to the need to sleep.

McCoy walked back into the Intensive Care Unit and saw that Winstone was still sleeping. As he said a silent prayer of thanks for that he shook his head as he saw that the pain register was still fluctuating showing there was still a long way to go. He went to his computer and logged what he saw and then he entered similar information on the ship's computer. Similar but not exact as there were cases that Command need not know about. The gods knew he had more than enough of those reports on a certain captain and Vulcan as well as a few other senior officers. While it was not officially meant to be done he knew of at least eight other doctors on other ships of the fleet who had the two set of records. He knew that Spock and Jim had not told him all that had happened to Winstone while he saved Spock but Spock being alive and back on the ship with only a few injuries and what Winstone's body told him was more than enough. While he knew the drugs his friend had been given would have scrambled his thinking for some time he knew that stubborn Vulcan well enough to know he would blame himself for the injuries. As he had for so many evenings he pulled a chair over to the bed, took a trembling hand in his own and sat there. Should Winstone awaken he would know he was no alone. It was something he had done so often with those other two too many times as well as other officers.

Tillis sat for a moment after the others had left and, for the first time in many weeks, felt relieved. There was not a doubt in his mind that the four he had sent with Cullen to Security would ensure he needed the protection of a cell. When he had looked at the four of them and seen how they were looking at Cullen, especially when he saw what Lieutenant Uhura had done, he was sure Cullen would be hoping for a fast trip to Command. Just for a moment he wondered what would happen when the rest of the crew found out what had happened. Although nothing had been said he knew that both Kirk and McCoy would have to give him a full report and he was certain he would get as detailed a report as First Officer Spock felt necessary to give. When he talked with the doctor he would ask if there as any connection between having to be in Sickbay after having been meant to be on a medical leave to totally rest and the return of the First Officer. Before those four had come into the briefing room, before he had seen how they had reacted, he was prepared to just get some security officers to take Cullen to the cells but he knew that those four would ensure he got to the cell. A smile touched his lips, they would ensure he got to the cell but he would not care to comment on what condition he might be in by the time he got to the cell. They had all heard the terrified wordless whining that had started coming from him when Lieutenant Uhura had held that knife to his throat. How sure he was that had Mister Spock not arrived she would have killed him there and then. It was going to be an interesting trip back to Command.

It was only as he was standing before the door to Uhura's quarters that Spock realized how long it would have been since she had sleep and what she had likely experienced upon seeing him as there had been flashes of at least six human emotions when she looked from challenging Cullen to him. She had been struggling to control those same emotions when he had spoken to her. Those same emotions had been obvious when he had walked out of the briefing room. Just for a moment he wondered about the logic of coming now as it was likely she would want to sleep. Before he had stopped nodding at the thought of how coming later would be better the door opened.

* * *

A/N Very deceptive day - looks beautifully sunny and about fifteen steps from the front door, just beyond the hedge, that southerly right off the ice of Antarctica gives you a bond-chilling reminder that this is only the start of winter. About two more chapters to go in this so should get it done next week as only have a few appointments that should not take too much time. Thanks for reading. Enjoy. Take care and HAVE FUN.


	11. Chapter 11

" **Now** just what is so," Uhura stopped the preplanned tirade she was going to give to whoever was wanting to see her when all she wanted to do was sleep and unwind after the day she had had. That cauldron of emotions she had felt when she had the knife at Cullen's throat wanting to slit it, when she heard that beloved baritone pointing out why she would not do it, and when she had unashamedly rushed to Spock and gripped his arms to feel the reality was still there, still just below the surface. To see him standing at her door stopped her. Of all the people to come to see her at such a time she should have know it would be him.

"I ask pardon, Lieutenant, if this is an inconvenient time. You seemed overly consumed by emotions when I last saw you and I wished to ensure you were feeling better."

She stepped aside and motioned him in, suddenly finding herself taking deep breaths as he had helped her learn so many years ago to calm her emotions around him. "I, I am so sorry,"

He held up a hand then reached out and lightly wiped a tear that had started to track down her cheek, "There is no need to apologize nor feel ashamed. I admit that during my absence I feared I would not have the opportunity to tell you how much I value your assistance and friendship. When you did the Human thing of gripping my arms when I entered the briefing room and explained why you would not use the knife I could feel the turmoil your emotions were in. It seemed only," she saw him give her a faint smile, "it seemed best to ensure that you would be able to fully control those emotions and get the sleep you will need before your next shift."

"I will be fine, now. Thank you for understanding. I was too emotional at the time and was so ashamed after,"

"Uhura, you forget we were in direct contact. I sensed your immediate discomfort when you realized you had acted on a human instinct, It was like my mother used to do when I was still a child with similar emotional attachments. There was no need for you to have been nor to be ashamed of your actions." he looked at her for a moment and she knew that those dark eye would miss nothing, "Do you believe you will be able to get a good sleep without further mentally crucifying yourself for reacting as you did?"

"Yes, thank you Spock, and thanks to you, I will be able to get a fitful sleep and be ready for my shift."

"Then I shall let you get that sleep.'

He had taken a step toward the door when she said, 'May, may I ask you one question about what might have taken place while you were,"

As he looked at her Spock was aware of her need to know whatever it was that was so plaguing her. He remembered the knife she had held and said, "Vern Winstone was of great assistance in my return. He is being cared for by Dooctor McCoy so you know he is getting the best medical care possible. I am certain that as soon as he is able to have visitors McCoy will let you know as the good doctor is also aware of the friendship you two share."

Momentarily Uhura closed her eyes and nodded, she should have known Spock would know of their friendship. She looked at him and knew she saw a deep understanding about the dark eyes that looked at her. "Thank you for telling me that. I had wondered if he would have done something even though he was sent to only rest."

"He is now getting that rest and the good doctor's obsessive attention now. We both can rest better knowing that. I will see you on the bridge when Alpha shift begins."

After he had gone Uhura spent a few minutes thanking her gods for not only the safe return of her Vulcan friend and for the friendship that existed between them but also that Vern Winstone had been able to help get their Vulcan friend home and was in the care of McCoy.. She was surprised at how easy it was to feel herself falling asleep.

As he had seen controlled emotions also on the faces of both Sulu and Chekov it had seemed only right to thank them as well. A part of him, he was sure it was the Human factors in his genetic makeup, believed it too late, that it could wait, but there was a very strange need within him to do it now. It somehow felt right. Yet is was also logical as it was a matter of importance to the two of them as well as to himself.

 _ **'Damn!"**_ Sulu had been laying on his bed thinking over all that had happened when there was that chime to let him know somebody wanted to talk with him. He had been trying to think how he would thank Spock for getting him that opportunity to fly such a unique craft after he had read all the details about the craft and how revolutionary it was. Although he knew how his quiet Vulcan friend would say it illogical to thank him for a logical action he wanted to let him know how honoured he was. The words were only just coming to him when that chime sounded.

As he stood by the door as it opened he had all but barked at the figure before him, " **WHAT?** " before he realized who it was.

Seldom had Spock seen Sulu so stunned and chagrined by what had just happened, "I apologise if I have interrupted your evening, Mister Sulu. I can,"

"No. No, come in. Please come in, Mister Spock." It was still there, Sulu noticed as Spock entered his quarters, the very slight hesitation in some of his movements. As he watched him move his arms he realized it was his left shoulder, more toward his neck, that he was trying not to move. "I, I do not mean to speak out of line and I mean no offence but if your shoulder is causing you some pain," he saw an eyebrow raise, "you may find if you put a thick wet hot cloth on your shoulder and against your neck while you raise and lower your shoulder and tilt your head side as far as you can from side to side twenty times it will ease the pain. It will help. It was a thing my maternal grandmother taught us that oddly worked."

That Sulu had been able to identify the location of a bothersome pain made Spock aware of just how closely he had been watched by the young helmsman. While Doctor McCoy had told him it would ease in time he would, when returned to his quarters, see if Sulu's suggestion was of assistance. "You did not speak out of line and I thank you for the suggestion, Sulu. I came to thank you for your emotional control in the briefing room when you saw I am alive and back on the Enterprise. I apologize for the fact that the Captain and Doctor McCoy as well as Mister Scott had kept that fact from you as well as Lieutenant Uhura and Chekov but they all deemed it necessary to ensure that the Commodore was not a factor in my abduction. I believe the three of them believed the Commodore was not involved but wanted to be sure before they took any action."

"I think the three of us, Uhura and Chekov and myself, also thought that." When Sulu saw an eyebrow arch he continued, "There was just something about the way he watched us, the way that the Commodore watched him. Then when he mentioned going to Biron Base Twenty-eight with extra supplies it just felt wrong. The three of us agreed on that which is why when Uhura and the Commodore said she was going to go with Cullen we knew that the Commodore was involved but that he was after Cullen, especially when she told him she would give him a full report when she returned."

Just for a moment Spock was aware of wanting to point out how feelings had no logical basis but then he realized that he was alive because of whatever feelings, loyalty or some form of friendship or comradeship, Vern Winstone had towards him that would have kept the man fighting him the way he had to clear the drugs from his body. There had been no logical reason for what Winstone had done apart from some sort of Human feeling or feelings. "You mentioned how the Commodore watched Cullen. What was so different about it that you would mention it?"

"It was like he was watching, almost waiting, for Cullen to make a mistake. He seem to be watching him for any sign of unusual behaviour. Seemed like he knew what he was looking for and was just waiting for it. I think Uhura agreed to help him trap Cullen which is why she went with Cullen to the base. We knew then that she was working with the Commodore to trap Cullen." Spock saw the way Sulu briefly looked away as though trying to figure out exactly how to say something, saw how he twice started to open his mouth before quickly shutting it.

"May I ask what is troubling you? You must know that Lieutenant Uhura would not have been in any real danger. Not only is she most proficient at self-defence but only a fool would attempt to abduct a person from a ship with as dedicated a crew as the Enterprise has."

For a moment Sulu closed his eyes then looked directly at Spock, "No, I know, knew, that Uhura would be safe." he took a deep breath to steady himself, "I want to thank you for getting me the opportunity to pilot that new ship. I know how exacting they are in those who are allowed to test fly and,"

Spock held up a hand and, for just an instant Sulu saw the hint of a smile, "As I reminded both them and Captain Kirk, they may test fly the ship but they would not give it the sort of testing it would need should the pilot encounter the array of the unexpected and unknown that exists; I simply listed the eighteen manoeuvres you have come up with that I doubt if the designers of the Enterprise had thought of. The Captain and I had a discussion about how well you know the ship's abilities and he not only agreed but also made mention of the modifications you suggested, in conjunction with Mister Scott, to add to the existing capabilities of the ship. He sent it through a direct connection. I am pleased you are being given the opportunity. Now, if you will excuse me, I have one more person to see before they retire for the night. I shall see you on the bridge for Alpha Shift."

"Have a good rest in your own quarters, Sir. You will find it as you left it. Only the Captain has been in it since you left."

"Thank you, Mister Sulu. May you also have a good rest."

Sulu stood by the door for a moment thanking all the known gods for the return of his friend and, when he got back into his bed, he found that all that needed to be said had been said. As he drifted to sleep he half-smiled. No doubt Spock would have suggested that the Captain send the application by a direct connection so that it did not take long to get acted upon and got individual attention rather than being in with all the others. While many would not think it as it was not the Vulcan way, Spock was that unique blend of Human casualness and Vulcan precision.

Chekov had just found a comfortable position and was half asleep when he heard the quite chime. He was still muttering about how long it had taken him to find that spot and that it had better not be somebody looking for Dean Wallace, the officer he shared his quarters with. "Are you forgetting that Dean is,"

"I believe Officer Dean Wallace is on duty a the moment, Mister Chekov. I also believe that some crew have times when they forget the rosters of others. I find I also must apologize for coming to see you during your rest period. I can,"

"No, no, that is fine. I, I," Gradually Chekov recovered from his surprise of seeing the First Officer at the door. "Come in, Mister Spock."

"Thank you." Spock entered the quarters that brought back memories of his early years on ships in Star Fleet, "As I stated, I apologize for coming at this time but I wanted to thank you for your emotional control upon seeing I had returned to the ship. Upon reflection of that moment your facial expression appeared to be reflecting two conflicting emotional states and I regret that I may have been the cause of that conflict."

"My," Chekov paused as he realized his Vulcan friend had not missed that brief moment when he had to shut down an impulse, an action he grew up with, "my heritage and my chosen career were in conflict. I remembered you saying there were times and places for them to be controlled and that I would learn when that applied. As you saw I still have to learn."

Spock nodded as he looked at the younger man, "You are referring to the old Russian custom of men greeting with hugs and kisses." Chekov nodded. "I thank you for such control of your emotions and regret that you had to deal with that conflict because of me."

"It was my fault. I could not,"

"Humans often have great difficulty in controlling and not acting upon their emotions. I am very pleased you were able to control and not act upon your emotions on that occasion."

As the Vulcan looked at him Chekov felt the connection he had always felt with this special being, and yet it seemed there was something else there, he, like most who were on the bridge with him so much, was only too aware of the nuances not to notice any differences.

When Spock gave a slight nod it was as though from relief as though making a decision, "I trust you have no objection to my having secured you a position, for three of the four standard weeks that we are to be at Command, as a tactical adviser in the design of the next generation of starships."

Just for a moment everything seemed to stop around him a Chekov heard that. He had heard that Spock was to have that role when they next went back to Command as it was known that he was an expert on tactical matters related to a starship. "But you, Sir," it sounded weak even to himself as he started.

"I advised them that I would be able to attend a few sessions and that you would take my place when I had other duties and I supplied them with examples of your skills and abilities. They agreed." What was it he was seeing as he looked at his friend? There was something. Almost a hesitation.

"I, I am honored but I am not ready to,"

The hint of a smile touched the Vulcan's lips and made Chakov stop, "Pavel Chekov, I do not recall any time when you have not been ready to accept a challenge in any field you are so familiar with. I have every faith in your ability to speak on my behalf in my absence and to encourage those attending to forget logical reasoning and to imagine just as I have seen you do on many occasions when you have produced highly successful results. You and I will meet briefly every evening to discuss anything you might be having difficulty with. I trust I have not overstepped my role by taking such an action without first advising you. I did so in order to have some time to fully recover after recent events and to give you not only more opportunity to learn but also to pass on your knowledge." another smile flashed about the dark eyes that looked steadily at him, "I also know that having such a role on your record will help you should you, after your time on the Enterprise, apply to be a First Officer. From reviewing the recordings made of events on the bridge during my absence, I could tell that you will easily be able to instruct and inform those attending the three week course."

It was there in the quiet between them. It was, to Chekov, like a blanket of security and he knew it was because of the Vulcan's certainty in his abilities which he so often doubted. For Spock to have reviewed what had taken place while he was away had been no surprise but he could not recall anything he had done during that period that Spock could have based his statement on. As he thought over it he realized that obviously Spock was unobtrusively training him to be both a First Officer and a Senior Science Officer as he was.

"Sir, I don't know how to thank you. I, I,"

"If I might make a suggestion then I would suggest we both get a good night's rest as I am certain that we are both in need of it after the events of the last few hours. I look forward to seeing you on the bridge when the Alpha shift starts. Rest well."

Before Chekov could reply Spock had turned and walked away. He remembered how it was for him a the Academy, being the youngest in his classes and being almost too keen to learn more on as many things as he could about starships. Now, to go back to Comman and be a part of the future design of starships. He had once or twice dreamed of attending such a course but to be an advisor was far beyond those dreams.

As he walked into quarters that were usually kept extra junior crew Spock flexed his shoulder and noticed there was still a stiffness that McCoy had said would take some time to ease and he was finding it more bothersome than he had first thought. It was the unpredictability of when there would be that twinge that was annoying as even the mind rules did not quite ease the ache. He had come to test Sulu's grandmother's remedy, although he had doubts about it effectiveness. He got a wet, hot cloth and did as Sulu had said had been an old treatment. At first there was no noticeable change but after the fourteenth move there was an easing he had not even had from McCoys treatment. He would thank him when they were on shift together.

With his shoulder feeling much better and realizing he had more flexibility without any twinges Spock walked to Sickbay and found McCoy dozing by the bed Winstone was on, his hand resting on Winstone's. Very gently he reached out and as he was lifting McCoy in his arms he saw Winstone open his eyes and nod. There was still tremendous pain clear about his eyes but he closed them again and clearly drifted back to sleep. McCoy did not awaken as Spock first looked at the fold-down bunk before carrying him along the corridors to his own quarters after ensuring that there was a nurse in with Winstone. He settled McCoy on his bed, removed his boots, and placed a blanket over him then returned to Sickbay and read the latest notes on Winstone's file. No change. As he read the full report he realized that McCoy had not been fully forthcoming and had kept a few facts from both him and Jim. There could only have been one cause for some of the damage that was still causing McCoy concern and Spock wondered how Winstone had been able to keep fighting him with so many injuries.

When he went to his own quarters he was not surprised to find Jim there as he had said they would meet here later. It had somewhat seemed unusual that he was asleep on his bed but knew it was a clear indication of the exhaustion his friend was feeling but would not admit to. Very carefully he removed Jim's boots then covered him with a blanket, turned down the lighting, and sat for a moment by the bed watching his friend sleep. From how Jim had not woken as he removed his boots had indicated how much this deep sleep was needed. Considering how McCoy also did not awaken made it clear that both of them had not been getting their usual sleep possibly all the time he was missing. He also doubted if McCoy had slept much while attending to Winstone.

Winstone. Adjusting the room temperature to one he knew Jim would find comfortable Spock returned to Sickbay and, as he stood by the bed, he saw Winstone again open his eyes. For a moment there was confusion and then Winstone smiled, "Help me stand?"

What he had read on the medical reports came back to Spock as he looked at Winstone. The horrific damage to the man's nerves, muscles, joints, whole body that his beating him had caused. McCoy's prognosis was favorable provided strict guidelines were followed and one of them was for him to remain prone until it was certain that no further, and most likely irreparable and possibly life-threatening damage could result from him standing too soon.

When Spock hesitated he felt a weak hand grip his and saw, under the pain when he again looked down at Winstone, a determination and a plea. "Need to know. Please."

* * *

A/N I now have a very rough idea of what it would be like to live under a waterfall as we had a cloudburst this morning - oh well, a short walk with the dog and her fortnightly bath all in one. Thanks for reading. HAVE FUN!


	12. Chapter 12

As he looked down at Winstone Spock momentarily found it difficult to control the flood of emotions and recalled moments of what had happened in that rooming house room. Had it not been for how Winstone was looking at him Spock was sure he would have left and gone to his own quarters till he had regained control of his emotions and was once thinking logically about the situation. This, this was making him face those moments and emotions here and now before Winstone. He knew that what he did, how he had acted then, had been due to the drugs and yet Winstsone had accepted it. Even Doctor McCoy had said with the amount of drugs he had been given it was only through the continued flow of adrenalin through him that had cleared him of the effects of the drugs and stopped them from permanently damaging his mind. Only through Winstone fighting him as long as he had, keeping him is that fight mode for as long as he had, repeatedly getting him that agitated, had saved his sanity, his life. Spock knew in McCoy's records on Winstone it clearly stated that Winstone had to remain supine for several more days: it outlined what could result from him being upright before then. Momentarily he closed his eyes.

Closing his eyes did nothing but make him see how Winstosne had been. Saw again how Winstone had kept getting up and making him fight to clear the drugs from his systems. Only as he recalled what he had seen did he fully realize how it took Winstone longer and longer to get up. No matter how hard he hit the floor, a wall, or any of the furniture Winstone had struggled to stand up. Stand up, steady himself, then resume the fight. He kept seeing how Winstone would fight to stand, stretch his limbs, and then stand, stretch, for a moment before returning to fight him. And there was the blood. So much blood. Red blood that trickled from his nose, ears, and mouth and yet Winstone fought to stand then fight him again only stopping when he himself could no longer fight.

As the memories came back the conflict within him intensified as he wanted to help Winstone as he knew what the man was like, what he had done for him, and what he had said during that time. He wanted to help but he also knew that with what he had done to him it could cause him more pain and severe harm if he did not wait till McCoy told him he could.

" _Let me help you. I gotta stand. Need to stand. Gotta get upright. Falling is easier than standing up. Gotta stand_." Those were the phrases that Winstone had kept repeating when they fought. Even when he had kept falling he seemed to talk himself upright.

There had to be some meaning, some reason behind Winstone's near fear of not standing, not being able to stand. Spock tried to think of anything he had read or heard about Winstone's past as to what would cause such a fear. Was it a fear or something else? Something physical? Something physiological? What was it he had said. He **needed** to stand. Why did he need to stand? What meaning did it have?

Again in his mind he heard how Winsntone had said " _Please_." Was it a question or a plea? He could not, having worked with the man for so many years and having seen what he had done for him in that room, imagine him begging. **No** , it had not had the nuances used when one begged. Slowly Spock nodded. The nuances had been more of one asking as an equal, asking with hope but **not** the desperation as in begging. There had been that plea, that one word appeal for assistance, that one word question for help, and both had been edged with a hint of the deep pain Winstone was in. It had not been a strictly a plea, it had been a request for an answer to assist him. Winstone had asked him to assist him to stand, stating he needed to know. Winstone had not stated what it was he needed to know nor why. There was something Spock could not fully identify about the way he had said "please" that stressed how important to him that need to know was as well as standing.

When he opened his eyes and looked at Winstone he saw the pain and also an understanding and an acceptance in how Winstone was looking at him. There was also some fear about the eyes. What was the fear about? He had that insatiable need to stand. The way he fought to stand. Slowly Spock nodded. He understood what a fear akin to what Winstone was experiencing was like. It was clear that Winstone had a fear of not being able to stand, a fear as great as his own of not having access to his mind or even the mind rules.

Even as he reached out to Winstone Spock was still uncertain as to what he was going to do. Part of him wanted to help him up and another part of him wanted to comfort him yet keep him laying as he was.

" **Just you hold it right there, Spock!**" there was absolutely no mistaking the voice of an irate Leonard McCoy. "Just what the hell did you think you were going to do?"

"I am," for a moment Spock stopped. What was he about to do? What was he thinking?

He saw how McCoy nodded his head towards his office before staring at him till he walked there. He knew the man well enough to know from how he was looking and standing that there was no way around that protective wall, especially when it was reinforced with the emotions as it clearly was.

" **Well?** "

"He asked me to help him to stand, Doctor. For some reason, one that I am not aware of at the moment, he feels he needs to stand."

"You are aware of the extent of,"

"I caused that damage to him, Doctor. He was there to rest and recover as he would not have done so on the ship. He did not rest as he saved me by fighting me. I am only too aware of the damage I caused by fighting back when he made me fight him. By my fighting him for as long as I did over the time I was able to stop the damage the druges would have done to my mind, I stopped the drugs I was given from destroying my mental abilities and what he forced me to eat and drink helped restore what the drugs had started to destroy in my body. So yes, Doctor McCoy, I am fully aware of the extent of the damage I did to him."

"Then what the devil were you doing going to help him to stand? You must know how damaged his spinal,"

"Doctor, he asked me to help him to stand. He said he had to stand. He said he had to know. I do not know what he feels he has to know but," Spock stopped when he saw McCoy nod and let him place a hand on his shoulder.

"I know, Spock. He needs to know he can stand and stand alone." McCoy saw the raised eyebrow ask the question his Vulcan friend was formulating into words, he had also seen the guilt on his friend's face when he had talked about fighting with Winstone. Carefully he placed a hand on the Vulcan's shoulder and gave a light squeeze, "I've worked on and dealt with this man enough times to know of that obsessive need of his."

In an easy understood silence between then the two friends looked at each other and McCoy nodded, "Okay, I'll help you with,"

" **NO!** I must do this alone." Spock was momentarily surprised at his reaction and, seeing how stunned McCoy was, knew it was uncalled for, knew that McCoy would understand his need to do this for Winstone on his own. "Doctor, I beg pardon. I had no right to,"

"You had every right, Spock. He asked you to help him stand. I know he wants to stand. Just know that it is important he not move his back, that you hold him so he cannot bend his spine."

"I would welcome your assistance, Doctor. If you could stand in a position where you could tell me if there was any indication of the start of a bend to his spine it would be most helpful."

"I will be right there, Spock, but you will be the one to help him."

Together they went back into the room and Spock saw how Winstone looked from him to McCoy then back to him. There was still the pain there but there was also a hint of fear. No, Spock looked at Winstone and saw it was not fear but uncertainty, "Doctor McCoy is here to only assist me in making sure you do not bend your back while I help you to stand."

Very slowly Spock walked right up to the bed and looked at how Winstone was laying on the bed. No longer did McCoy have him ensnared nor restricted in any way. There was clear access to three sides of the bed. "I am going to pull you down the bed and you are to keep your legs straight. I will then assist you into an upright position."

There was the slightest of movements about Winstone's mouth as he bit his bottom lip then nodded.

When he had Winstone at the end of the bed with his legs straight Spock glanced at McCoy and saw him nod before he looked back at Winstone, "You have to brace yourself as I am going to pull you onto your feet."

Although he would never admit it to the good doctor but as he started to pull Winstone upright, and as he had to strengthen himself against the onslaught of waves of pain that radiated from Winstone, he almost stopped. All that stopped him was recalling all those times Winstone had forced himself up to continue the fight that prevented the drugs from destroying his mind. That determination that came from somewhere deep in the man demanded this opportunity no matter how great the pain.

"Stop there, Spock. He's upright."

"Doctor McCoy is right. I am standing. Thank you. Let go. Please."

For a moment he kept his hands on Winstone, almost afraid to release the hold he had till he heard McCoy say, "Let him stand alone, Spock. Just let go for him for a few seconds then get him back onto that bed."

There was no fear at all on Winstone's face as Spock released he hold, only a look of a silent triumph when he became aware of standing on his own. "Thank you, Sir." There was still great pain in the voice and as Spock looked he saw the struggle Winstone was having to maintain balance and hiding his pain. Very slowly and carefully he laid Winstone back on the bed and McCoy helped him get Winstone properly placed on the bed. Before he closed his eyes Winstone looked from McCoy to Spock and said, "Thank you both. I can do it now."

As soon as Winstone had, with the help of McCoy's hypo, drifted of into a deeply medicated sleep Spock followed McCoy into his office. McCoy had seen the slightly raised eyebrow when he had given Winstone the injection and expected to be questioned by the Vulcan. "Now, before you start, Spock, I could tell that he,"

"Needed assistance in dealing with the pain and getting the rest his body would need after that exertion he was not fully ready for. As usual, Doctor, you knew just what your patient needed at that time, for which I am grateful." For a moment McCoy was taken aback by Spock agreeing with his action. "If I may. Doctor, I would like to now if I were wrong in assuming from your comment that you understood his comment about being able to do it now."

McCoy smiled as he looked at his Vulcan friend, "As I said, Spock, I've worked on and with him enough to know that if he could stand on his own he would fight as he'd know that he will be able to walk, to help others, and to take care of himself."

"Am I to, therefore, understand that you believe he will make a full recovery?"

McCoy had stared for a moment at his friend and then pointed at the spare seat in his office and waited till Spock sat before he answered, "I know he will, Spock. Give him about eight weeks, incorporate some very intensive physical therapy, and he will be able to pass the standard fitness test for both security and for search and rescue."

"Am I incorrect in believing he is in Engineering?"

McCoy smiled, "No, but he has assisted in both security and search and rescue and has expressed an interest in keeping to those fitness levels so that he is ready should he be needed."

Spock nodded mainly to himself as that would explain how he had known how to react in the incident that had seen him injured in the first place in Engineering. As he thought of that incident he recalled that Winstone had thanked him for helping McCoy get him onto a stretcher, thanked him for visiting him that one time before he was sent to rest off ship. Spock slowly let out a breath as he closed his eyes realizing he had not thanked Winstone for what he had done that first time and decidedly had not thanked him properly for only recently saving him from where and how the drugs had him. He had not thanked Winstone for such major things yet Winstone had just thanked him twice for just helping him off the bed and helping to stand on his own for fifteen point eight one seconds. How could Winstone have thanked him for such minor events while he had not thanked him for saving his sanity and his life? Vulcans did not thank others for taking logical actions but none of what Winstone had done was logical. His Human side would have thanked him but somehow he was so very unsure of when it would be appropriate and what words would express what he wanted to say. He had failed Winstone. That one action of helping him stand was nothing compared with all that had been done for him by Winstone. Winstone had thanked him for such minor things and he had not thanked Winstone for such a major event. He had failed on both a Vulcan level and a Human level.

As he looked at how his Vulcan friend was sitting McCoy knew he was troubled by something, something possibly only Jim could help him with. Without hesitation he reached out with one hand and flicked the button to Jim's room and said simply, "Get here, Jim." And placed the other on the shoulder of his Vulcan friend and felt an odd tension in it. Clearly something was deeply troubling him, possibly more deeply than Jim could help Spock with.

Jim Kirk had been in a deep sleep and, after hearing something in McCoy's voice, was racing to Sickbay before he had finished fully processing what it could be that he was racing toward. His mind was concentrating on it being something to do with Winstone, was thinking of the three main options, but none of them would have made McCoy contact him like that. Whatever it was he knew was serious. At the door to McCoy's office in Sickbay he paused. It only took him a moment for his mind to tell him that something was very wrong with Spock, wrong in an emotional way. He stayed as he was while McCoy slowly stood, removed his hand from Spock's shoulder, and walked over to him.

"He helped Winstome stand alone for a few seconds, got him back into bed and we left him sleeping. Seemed fine when we came in here then he asked if Winstone would recover, I told him that I believe in eight weeks he should be okay and able to pass the medical for security and for search and rescue. It seemed to surprise and slightly confuse him as he then asked if Winstone was from Engineering, I explained that while he was in Engineering he liked to meet the medical levels for both security and search and rescue as well in case he was needed. He gave a slight nod then closed his eyes and seems deeply troubled by something. I knew I could not get to him in that state and thought you could. I'll be in with Winstone."

Slowly Kirk walked over to sit in the chair McCoy had vacated and looked at his friend. He tried to remember a time when he might have seen such painful confusion on his friend's face. Gently he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "I am here if you need to talk, Spock." Only having known and studied his friend for as long as he had did Kirk there was just a hint of acknowledgment that his friend had heard him, "McCoy told me you helped Winstone stand on his own."

"He, he asked me to." it had been almost a whisper, almost like a guilty secret.

"Did you check with McCoy if,"

Only then did Spock look at Kirk and the look about his friend's face almost stopped Kirk from breathing for a moment. It was as haunted a look as he had ever seen on his friend's face. "You do not understand, Jim. He, **he asked me** to help him stand."

"You know he would have known that McCoy would not allow him to stand. He would ask anybody to,"

"No, Jim. You don't understand. He **asked** me." seldom had Kirk seen the so much hurt and confusion about the dark eyes, "Jim, do you not understand? **He. Asked. Me**."

* * *

A/N Shortest day of the year and coldest night so far. Was busy in the yard as sunny and vegetable plants to get in the ground although the breeze was a reminder of it being winter and that Antarctica is not really that far away. Thanks for reading. Take care and HAVE FUN!


	13. Chapter 13

Not knowing what else to do Kirk tightened his grip on his friend's shoulder. "Of course he would ask, Spock. You are a senior,"

"Rank, rank had nothing to do with it, Jim. **He didn't ask me** then. He didn't ask me then."

 _Then_. Kirk took a moment as he thought of what "then" Spock could be referring to. "You are right, Spock. I do not understand. Explain it to me."

Slowly Spock stood and walked to where he could see into the Intensive Care room and at Winstone. How could he make Jim understand when his own thoughts and, and yes, his emotions, were so conflicted about what had happened? As he looked at Winstone he not only recalled the events that had taken place and how Winstone had not asked if he could help, only said " _Let me help_.", how he had not asked him to do anything all that time and only when back on the ship asked for help to stand. All those times down there, after their fights, not once did he ask for help or for him to stop. Now, in all that pain he not only asked but also thanked him. Seeing the pain register being still in a severe range he wondered if it were more that Winstone had asked him or that Winstone had thanked him. Thanked him for something as inconsequential as helping him to stand when compared with all he had done without being thanked.

He was still looking at Winstone when he felt a reassuring hand again on his shoulder. How could Jim not understand? He had told him of what had happened to him on that planet. He had told him how Winstone had cared for him, helped him, got him home to the ship. He had told him how he had treated Winstone, how all those injuries that were now the cause of so much pain were his doing. He had. No. He had not told Jim how Winstone had not asked if he could help, had not asked anything. All Winstone had been was reassuring, so certain he would get him back to the ship. All he had wanted to do was help. What McCoy had said about Winstone's need to stand and walk " _to help others_ " came back to him. He had wanted to help and had said " ." and not "How can I help you?" nor even "May I help you?" All that time he had not asked anything of or from him. After all he had done and been through all he had asked for was help to stand, to stand on his own.

Slowly he turned an looked at his so very Human friend, "How, Jim? How can I explain something to you that I am so conflicted about myself? I find myself at a total loss to understand the situation. Not just the situation of my being unable to explain my inner conflict in a manner you would understand but also the causative factors behind the conflict."

"Well," about those hazel eyes Spock saw the understanding and acceptance he had always found there, "I guess if you could tell me what the situation is that you are having trouble with we could start from there. Can you tell me what it is?"

"It, it is difficult to know where or how to explain it to you, Jim." Slowly Spock turned to face his friend and Captain, as always there was open acceptance there, "I find that I now understand that Human expression about being between a rock and a hard place although that would be a rather simplistic way of expressing what I am presently experiencing."

Kirk smiled, "Well, can you tell me what the rock is and also the hard place?"

It was the farthest thing from his mind and Spock was momentarily surprised at how simply Jim and come up with a possible solution. He did know what would be the two points he asked for. "What could be called the rock was how he first started to help me without asking and the hard place is him asking me to help him, him thanking me for helping him."

"Okay," Kirk let his optimism show and he walked with Spock back to the seats, "We will start at the rock. Why would it be the rock? What was so difficult about it?"

As Spock sat facing his friend he found it easy to answer the question without much thought, "Winstone **did not ask** if he could help me he just said to let him help me. All the time he helped me, fought me to clear me of the drugs, **he never asked** anything of me. He never asked." Again fleeting images of what he had done to Winstone came to him, he again saw how Winstone struggled to get back on is feet so many times after he had thrown him against the wall or furniture.

 _He never asked. He asked me_. Kirk nodded to himself. Winstone had obviously naturally reacted to seeing the state Spock was in and not asked if he could help before starting to help him and then, back on the safety of the ship, had asked Spock to help him stand, thanking him for helping. He stopped. It stunned him and he realized how that would also have caused Spock to pause and question it as it was a very natural thing for some Humans. What had stunned him was that Winstone would have known the strength of a Vulcan under normal situations was many times that of a Human and to fight a Vulcan who was under the influence of drugs was almost suicidal.

"So, if his not asking you if he could help is the rock can I assume that him asking for your help is the hard place?"

For the briefest of moments Spock closed his eyes and nodded his head, "His asking me to help is part of it, Jim."

"Part?" as Kirk looked at his friend he realized that whatever the other part was was clearly the most troubling to his friend.

"He thanked me. **He thanked me** , the one responsible for him being like that now, being in that much pain. He thanked me for visiting him while he was still in no real condition to know of the extent of the damage I had caused and then for thanked me for helping him to stand and I did not thank him for saving my sanity and my life." Spock paced around McCoy's office in four circles before stopping before Kirk and looking at him as though uncertain what to say.

Gripping both of his friend's upper arms Kirk said, "Tell me, Spock."

"As I held him there was total acceptance and trust in his feelings towards me. I, I had not expected that. It was almost as though what I had done to him, all the damage I did to him, was nothing. All I sensed was gratitude towards me for helping him stand. How could he not feel at least some anger toward me? Throughout my career and exposure to more Humans I have often sensed great hostility, anger, suspicion, and fear yet they were totally absent from him. Only that gratitude for such a minor action."

Kirk nodded as he saw what he believed to be the problem, "You have often said that one does not thank logic, Spock. Is it at all possible that he accepts the fact that to him doing what he did to help you was only logical?"

An eyebrow suddenly arched to the hairline let Kirk know he was on the right path, "Jim, a human fighting even a half-Vulcan in the condition I was in is anything but logical."

"But you have to try to think as he might have been thinking, Spock. To him helping you, fighting you, might have been the logical thing to do."

As Spock looked into the hazel eyes of his friend he saw the truth. He heard again what McCoy had said about Winstone's need to help others, to be there if needed. Looking at it logically Winstone had seen him needing help and his basic natural instincts and beliefs over-rode rules and regulations and even self-preservation. Doing what he had done would have seemed not only logical to Winstone but also been in total accord with his true self. Very slowly he nodded, "Winstone does seem to be a most illogically logical individual. I will have some conversations with him while assisting McCoy with whatever physical therapy regime the good doctor employs to assist Winstone."

There was no mistaking the relief in the smile Jim gave him, "I think that would be good and will save you from having to think about how to thank him with words. From what I have seen and heard about the man he is one whose actions say way more about how he cares for others on this ship than words could fully express."

"We should be,"

"Captain Kirk to Security. Captain Kirk to Security."

There was no need to ask Spock to join him as they rushed together to the turbolift.

Commodore Tillis was at the console in Security with Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov standing looking at him and Officer Cullen looking out from the cell he was in. In the glance he exchanged with Spock as they walked over to Tillis Kirk could tell his First Officer was as unsure as he was about what was happening.

"Captain Kirk, would you care to look at the settings for the environment Officer Cullen is being subjected to?"

Kirk looked at the setting and saw how they had been set to clearly cause a most uncomfortable setting.

"I,"

"Now I have advised Command that we have him and will hand him over upon arrival. They have advised me of he is now being linked to twenty-five non-Human officers vanishing from ships he has been on shortly after their departure from some of the newer member planets and bases. They have given me full responsibility for his welfare on the trip to Command. Do you want me to inform them that this is the conditions you kept him under on the return to Command?"

In his mind Kirk screamed, "He is lucky to be alive, lucky I did not put him in a cell!" but he calmly looked at the four most likely culprits and could not decide which one would have done it as they all knew how to set the settings in that manner. "I,"

Tillis looked at the others then at Cullen staring at him for the cell before back at him and Kirk had seen just a hint of a predator looking at its prey when Tills had been looking at Cullen. "Before you answer that I want you to consider my proposed settings and what I see as the best treatment for the prisoner when his crimes are considered." Kirk looked at the diagram of the settings Tillis proposed as well as his suggestions for dealing with Cullen and then at the man. He had heard the man was tough but fair unless a person crossed a line or did not adhere to the regulations. Now he knew what he had heard was more than correct. He also knew that the man believed in following the rules. Tillis had noted down a complete checking of all systems in the Security Units which had a direct impact on the atmospheric conditions in each unit as well as the audio, lighting, and sanitation. There was also mention of altering the food provided to the same three meals every day till returned to Command and thirty minutes of running every eight hours to maintain fitness.

"I agree with them. I also have no doubt Mister Scott and the others will be only too pleased to see that your guidelines and proposals are adhered to."

"Good." Tillis looked at Spock, "May I ask how the officer who,"

"Officer Winstone is doing as well as can be expected and Doctor McCoy has said that he should make a full recovery in eight standard weeks."

"I will need a full report from both of you concerning the events that Cullen's actions set in motion."

"Both Doctor McCoy and I have their reports given upon their return to the ship and with details they have subsequently recalled." Kirk only glanced at Spock and then looked directly at Tillis and did not waver when it seemed the man was drilling into him with his eyes. "We will give them to you. I am sure you will find the information you need with regard to Cullen in them." While it had not been the full truth it was true enough to protect both Spock and Winstone. Tillis would possibly not know how shameful and private a Vulcan sees how to be treated as Spock was but he knew and that was where it stopped. Not all that Spock had talked with him about was in the official report. All McCoy had said about what Winstone had said was that he had seen Spock and known what to do

"I am sure I will, Captain Kirk. With what I have gathered on the fates of the fifteen officers who we have, unfortunately, lost because of Cullen's actions over the last three standard years, as well as the information we gathered from those on Biron Base Twenty-eight and what is most likely in the reports you are to give me, we will the material we need to make the penalty for those officers who are in any way connected to such actions much worse than the one the presently exists. We are certain that there may be two others like Cullen, officers who are so good at camouflaging the real reason they want deep space trips that the commanding officers of the ships they are on are unaware of the roles they have played in the loss of a crew member. It was Cullen's wanting to go back down on our return on the pretext of helping with the return of the officer that made me wonder and with the two reports you will give me we will know more about what to watch for." For a moment he looked at each of the officers before him then back at Kirk, "I believe your officers will have no objection to my suggested conditions for Cullen on the way back to Command. I further believe that they may think of other ways we can best prepare him for whatever awaits him afterwards."

Kirk found it difficult not to smile as he remembered what he had seen in those suggestions and how he knew that he and his senior crew could most decidedly think of other ways, "I totally agree, Sir. I am sure Mister Scot will ensure we get to Command as soon as possible."

Tillis all but smiled back at him, "I am sure he will, Captain as long as his actions do not endanger his bairns."

"Aye, I'll get ye and it back there as quick as I can but will nay risk me bairns. Now, if ye'll excuse me I'll get back to them."

One by one the others left till it was just Tillis, Kirk and Spock and Tilllis looked directly at Spock, "I know this is none of my business and will not be reported but was it in his recovery of you that Officer Winstone suffered injuries while assisting you to overcome the effects of drugs administered to you by Cullen and or his associates? A common thing he did was use powerful drugs which."

"Commodore, that is," Kirk felt a surge of pure anger and was set to tell his exactly what he thought of asking that when Spock raised a hand.

"Officer Winstone assisted me by getting me away from the men Cullen had left me with. He insured I was kept safe till the Enterprise returned then devised a way of getting me back onto the ship. In assisting me he worsened the condition for which he was left there to recover from. I am to assist Doctor McCoy with his care and treatment."

"I am sure Doctor McCoy and Officer Winstone will appreciate your assistance." Tillis looked back at Kirk, "I believe now would be a good time for you and your senior crew to go and discuss those suggestions, Captain. The main thing is to ensure that he not only experience some of what those he took endured but also that he is in good condition when he appears before the hearing at Command. I will be in my quarters should I need to be contacted."

Once Tillis had gone Kirk contacted the others and asked them to meet in the main briefing room and Spock asked McCoy to join them as soon as he had another doctor to watch over Winstone. Once McCoy arrived, carrying a tray with two bottles and seven glasses, Kirk turned on the computer so they could all see the proposals Tillis had given. For a moment there was silence then McCoy said, "The daily required calorie intake for a man Cullen's size, a good cardio workout, sufficient rest, and plenty of mental stimulation. I see nothing to be concerned about."

The others all agreed and looked at Spock when he had not commented. Finally he said, "Cullen should be most relieved that no Vulcan was allowed to design how he was to be treated after what he has done to so many."

McCoy poured liquid from the smaller of the two bottles into one glass then filled the other six glasses with liquid from the other bottle and handed Spock the one glass and let the others each take a glass which they all raised when he said, "To friends who are family and to a long and enjoyable future with them."

As Spock sipped his he nodded at McCoy, it was a non-alcoholic liquor he knew would have cost McCoy a great deal more than the larger bottle the group was sharing. As he looked at those around him he realized McCoy was right, they were family. They were his close family as was that man in Sickbay and he suspected and accepted that the rest of the crew were akin to distant cousins.

FIN

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A/N Cold and windy night - power flickering on and off (oh, joy). Thanks for reading. HAVE FUN!


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